Let Me Out

Chapter Four

"Wynter!!" Pam yelled. "Give it to me!"

"No! Please Pam?!"

She stopped trying yank the bottle out of my hands and slumped to the floor beside me, sighing. I looked down at the alcohol in my hands and then realized what I had done. I didn't really have a reason to drink. I was drinking because I missed my family and I was mad at the world, and it was turing me into a drug addict. It had happened once before I lived with Pam, but this time was much worse.

I was holding a half empty bottle of vodka, and I really wanted to drink the rest, but I knew that I needed to get better. I had gone a couple weeks without touching drugs, and we thought that I had been getting better, but then I couldn't take it anymore. The craving for drugs was too strong, and I didn't know how to handle it. A week ago I came home completley high, and the next night drunk. I was now trying to get drunk, and really I wanted to smoke weed, but I didn't have any weed. So I was getting drunk and Pam was trying to stop me.

I noticed Pam was on the verge of tears, and honestly so was I. I got up and threw the bottle in the sink, completlet pissed off at myself. Pam was staring at me as I callapsed next to her again, and the craving for drugs was still there, which made me really hate myself.

I burst into tears and looked at Pam, who I could tell was trying her best to smile at me so I wouldn't get the hint how disapointed in me she was. It only made me cry harder, because the last thing i wanted was for her to be disapointed in me. I knew I had some more wine under my bed, and my hand twitched to grab it and gulp it down. Pam knew this and she stopped trying to smile at me. We both knew it was pointless.

"Go ahead, Wynter."

"What?"

"Go ahead. Grab the damn vodka and drink away your problems. Lay there giggling and having no idea what the hell is going on. Or why don't you go smoke some weed? Come home suicidal again, and make me sit up with you all day and night waiting for you to feel better so we can both get some rest. Or go, snort cocaine again. Come home high out of your brains. Just know that it's killing you Wynter. Your craving it Wynter, and I know it's too late to change that, but you need help.

"You keep expecting me to help you, and Wynter, honey, I'm trying. I have no clue how to help you anymore though when you aren't even trying to help yourself anymore. It keeps getting worse and worse, and Wynter we need to get you help. Soon."

Pam got up and wiping her eyes walked out of the room, leaving me completley stunned. I grabbed out the bottle of Vodka and held it up, deliberating. I wanted to drink it so bad, and the craving was deffinitley there. I knew I had to do the right thing though. If not for me, for Pam.

Sighing I grabbed out all the wine and the little bit of cocaine I had from under my bed. I put them in a small box, and carried them down stairs, stumbling a bit because of the wine I had had earlier. Pam was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a coffee. She looked like she was thinking really hard. She looked up when I walked in and eyed the box skeptically. I walked over to the kitchen table and dropped the box on the table. I took out one bottle at a time and emptied it it in the sink then threw the bottle in the trash. I threw the cocaine away, as well. Pam stared at me, looking confused and suspitious.

I grabbed myself a cup of coffee and sat down next to her. I sipped my coffee slowly, trying to just drink the coffee instead of wanting more wine and drugs. Pam stared at me, eventually smiling and sipping her own coffee.

I got up to get more coffee, then went over to the couch and sat down, turning on the TV. I set my coffee on the table, and leaned my head against the couch, closing my eyes and sighing. Pam came over and sat next to me. I opened my eyes to look at her and she softly smiled.