I Hate You, Don't Leave Me (Harry Styles FanFic)

Unscathed

After my tears are strewn across the couch I shower and change into a pair of sweats and tee. I lay on the couch looking up at the ceiling, feeling more alone than ever. And to think Nat is going to feel like this in two weeks. I internally groan. Why didn't she tell me about her job? What am I going to do with Toby? But my biggest question is, what am I going to do with Harry?

He makes it so hard, and easy to be mad at him. He drives me insane, making me crazy with hating him and loving him. I freeze. Did I just.... "Holy shit I'm in love with him." I say out loud, but I can't be. I'm also attracted to Toby who I've just met, so I'm obviously not in love with Harry. On the contrary I hate him, but for the tour I need to be nice to him so I'm not torn apart by those damn directioners. They are psychotic but hey I was one too, still one. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep on the couch.

I hear footsteps walk in to giggling and soft laughter. Not wanting to get up or anything I keep my eyes shut unmoving. "Shh it looks like she fell asleep." A low voice says. Toby's I believe.

"You should take her to her room." Nat says trying to whisper. She can't whisper.

"Why me?" He asks actually whispering. Thank you Toby for actually whispering!

"Because you're stronger than I and I'm crippled." I can hear her shuffle against the floor.

"You can't use the crippled card anymore missy, but fine I'll do it." He says his voice louder when he says missy. Nat must nod or something because I don't hear her response, but I feel strong arms lift me up. His torso and arms warm my body, his hard abs against my hip. I hear my door open and I'm gently placed in my bed.

"Don't worry love I'll take good care of Nat." I feel his hand brush my hair back and hear his footsteps lead out. I then fall asleep dreaming peacefully.

-

I wake up and walk into the kitchen not smelling the usual pot of brew. I go into the cabinet and find a note stuck to the can.

'Kendall,

Spent the night at Harry's.

He's going to drop me off at home and then take you to rehearsals.

No complaining, be nice.

~ Nat'

I groan and make my coffee. She didn't mention a time, so I start getting ready, after my cup of coffee of course. I shower and dress ready to leave for a time uncertain.

I sit for a couple hours looking through tumblr until I hear Nat rushing in. "Kendall! Go! Go! Go! Before your late!" She says running to me and pushing me out the door.

I comply and walk down the steps. "Run idiot! You're going to be late!" She yells at me. I run down the steps and hop into the car. As soon as I'm in Harry peels out driving down the road. I grip the door handle for dear life.

"Harry please slow down!" I scream terrified.

"No we are going to be late!" He says, not slowing down.

"Harry for god sakes slow down before you get us in an accident, again!" And then I start to pray. I know I might be over exaggerating but I am absolutely terrified. I sit fetal position in my seat. He slows the car down and pulls over and just sits there.

"Kendall I'm sorry." He whispers looking at me. Apparently I started crying and he leans over and tries to brush my tears away but I shy away. He drops his hand and fists his hand. He puts his hands on the wheel and starts to drive to the studio but this time the speed limit.

We sit in silence, I'm still sitting in fetal position. We pull up to the studio and I jump out before he even parks. I run up to the studio not looking back. I hear Harry behind me yelling for me but I run faster into the studio. I go to the elevator and hit floor three and the close button as many times I possibly can.

Not quick enough, because Harry throws his arm into the door causing it to open. Harry walks in and stands next to the buttons along the wall. "Kendall please. I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me." I shake my head tears threatening to spill over. It reminded me to much of the accident.

Harry pulls at his hair and paces the elevator. "No, no we aren't getting out of here until you talk to me!" He yells. He pushes the fire alarm button and the elevator automatically stops between the second and third floors.

Pissed I scream. "Fine you got me stuck in here, I'm going to talk" I get up in his face and continue, "Honestly Harry I don't trust you! You've threaten my life TWICE now! TWICE! There shouldn't have even been a first time but no there is! You try and act like everything's ok and nothing's happened, but shit has happened Nat can finally walk correctly now because of your fuck up, she should be at UCLA playing what she loves, but she's not because of you! And honestly I can't ever be in a fucking car anymore without feeling like I should be calling my family and telling them I love them! You've fucked up my life Styles you fucked it up real nice! Also you went unscathed; you got no punishment for fucking up. No, you're fucking Harry Styles you can't possible do anything wrong. Well you did something wrong and you think you can buy your way out of it but it takes a lot to re-kindle what I felt for you! I respected you! You were my idol! Now you're nothing to me Styles. Just another co-worker." I pant and slide down the wall and just sit there.

He slides down the wall and sits across from me hands clasped, head down.

"Do you really think I went unscathed?" He finally says looking at his hands. "Every time I look at you, at Nat I feel the guilt eating away at me. I close my eyes at night and have nightmares of Nat broken and damaged, but what mostly gets to me was the look on your face. You were scared out of your mind and destroyed when you saw what I've done. What can I do to make this right? Us right? Please Kendall." He says voice low, eyes watering.

"Nothing Harry. You can't do anything." I whisper. As I whisper those words the elevator starts again and we finally make it to the third floor. I stand and leave Harry alone in the elevator.

-

Rehearsals go well except for any interaction I had to do with Harry. I can't look him straight in the eyes. I'd thought letting it all out would make me feel good but I feel like shit. As soon as rehearsals end the rest of the boys ask if I wanted to go out with them, but I said no. I need to go home and vent to Nat. I just need to go home.

I take a cab home feeling jumpy being in another car. I walk up the steps and unlock the door in front of me. "Nat! Please where are you?" I say shuffling in I don't make it to the living room till I break down crying.

"Kendall! What's happened?" She kneels next to me as I cry on the ground.

"Me_me and Har_ry dro_ove." I say but I can't speak.

"Shh Kendall calm down, take a shower, take a break, I'll call the guys and tell him your sick or something. Relax." She says soothing me. I nod and get up and head to my shower. I like crying in the shower because the only time I actually realized I was crying is when I looked in the mirror.

I get out a change into a pair of sweats and tell Nat what happened. She just nods and listens not interrupting. At the end of my spiel I can see her eyes water a bit.

"I'm sorry I've put you in this situation, it's my entire fault." She says.

I get a bit annoyed and say, "Nat you didn't cause any of this, so shut up." I say snapping at her.

She puts her hands up in surrender and says, "Lets watch a movie and then we can hit the sack." I nod and grab a blanket and cuddle it close to me. This is going to be a good night to end a bad day.