I'm Not Going Anywhere

Chapter 4

My back faces Matt as I sit in the passenger seat, staring out at the passing trees. They are all green. Green and boring.

Dumb trees.

I've scrolled through Twitter a hundred times to know there isn't anything there to entertain me. That's why I'm stuck staring at trees. I release a big breathe of air in frustration.

"Awe, sweetheart, why are you in a bad mood," he says all of a sudden, eyes focused on the road.

I turn to look at him, annoyed.

"Don't sweetheart me-"

"Sweetheart."

"Stop."

"Sweetheart."

"Stop."

"Sweetheart."

"STOP."

"No can do," he says with pouty lips. "It's just too darn irresistible to see you annoyed. Now if we are being honest, why are you so grumpy?"

His sarcasm is literally killing me.

"I'm not grumpy." I defend myself.

"Sure you are. Besides the whole 'sweetheart' thing, you've been in bad mood ever since I told you we had to go to my appointment."

"I don't like waiting," I shrug.

"Obviously," he comments back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I'm starting to feel a little offended. Not like he hasn't before.

"Oh come on, you know what I mean. 'Daddy's girl' isn't used to waiting on other people, is she?"

I could only handle so many low blows. He only knew the half of it, because if he knew it all, he would know how deep that really hurt.

"Can you just stop with the fucking insults!" I shout at him.

He seemed a little taken back for a moment.

"Pull the car over," I speak under my breath. "PULL THE CAR OVER!"

He immediately parks the car on the side of the road next to an vacant park with a lake. Matt seemed a little freaked out from my outburst, but he deserved it.

With force, I open my passenger door. After throwing my heels angrily in the car, I take off in the opposite direction. I can feel the tears slowly starting to run down my face.

I've had break downs before, but they've mostly been in my room... alone. Matt can't see me like this.

"Lucy, can we talk?" I hear Matt's voice in the distance.

He's getting closer. He's catching up. The sound of his running footsteps become increasingly louder.

"Lucy."

No.

"Lucy."

More tears are streaming down my face.

"Lucy!"

Oh my god, he's practically right behind me.

I feel two strong arms wrap around my torso and stop me from running any farther. I thrash around, trying to free myself from his tight grip.

"Let me GO!" I shout at him through my tears.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Get your hands OFF OF ME!"

I break free only fall down on the ground. Matt gets on top of me and holds my hands over my head so I can't push myself away from him.

"Lucy," he says firmly, "you're having a panic attack of some sorts. I need you to breathe."

All I do is continue to cry.

"Lucy," he says again, "breathe."

He repeats the word until I finally start to do as he says. The oxygen fills my lungs.

"Lucy, can you talk to me? What's going on?"

"Whoever said you deserved to know anything," I bitch at him.

"I know you don't like me, but I'm genuinely worried about you right now. If I let you up, will you walk back to the car with me?"

I just glare at him. I kind of want to go back to my car, but I feel too stubborn to tell him that.

"Get off." I say.

Thankfully, that was enough for him to let me to stand up. Without another word, I start walking back to the car.

"Hey, hey, wait up. We still need to talk."

"About what?"

"That! What was that?"

"If you know what's best you'll shut your mouth and just drive to your stupid appointment." I open my car door, and look back at him. "And if you know what's best, you'll shut your mouth at school."

"Fine, for now, but we aren't done talking."

I sit in my passenger seat and he sits in the driver's. We don't talk during the drive, he just keeps his eyes on the road and I touch my make up using the mirror. He doesn't say anything, staying shut like I told him.

He better shut it.