Tags & Midnight Thoughts

12 A.M.

just a warning, this talks about depression. so if you get triggered, please don't read. and this isn't to get attention or anything. i really do suffer from depression and anxiety.

💎

I was doing so well. My depression momentairly went away, but as we all know, depression always sneaks back.

I was doing great for a good few months. Laughing. Confindent. Smiling. Talking more. Sleeping somewhat better. Eating normal.

But then, of course, something happens. It's like some switch turns off somewhere and it leaves me in a dark room with flickering lights.

That's the warning sign. The sign thats states that the depression is slowly creeping into your life again. That you are about to relapse.

Then suddely, something random triggers the lights to go off. The flickering stops and it leaves me in a pitch black room.

I start to sink. Deeper and deeper. It's almost as of I am literally drowing in my thoughts. The madness. The sadness. The anger. The self-hatred.

And I get scared. Terrified even. The thoughts get darker. My body and mind grow numb. I just want to sleep for days, even though I am having trouble sleeping in the first place.

I feel like I am gasping for air, trying to swim back to the surface where my happiness is trying to stay afloat.

I'm screaming for help. Someone has to notice. Someone has too see me drowing in my own thoughts.

However, people just stare at mw. Confused. They keep wondering what I am struggling with. What could possibly be wrong with this girl?

And it drives me nuts. How can someone not see the pain, the suffering that I am struggling with? It physically, mentally, and emotionally drains and hurts me.

What is wrong with me?