Tags & Midnight Thoughts

12:21 A.M.

So... as you all know by now, I went through a pretty traumatic experience. I'm going to try and explain it as well as I can so bare with me please.

What happened:

I was a chaparone on a field trip to a water park for one of the schools that I tutor/work at. We were in that one pool/ride where it does the fake waves and we were in the 5ft. They were pretty big.

I was with 8 students when it happened. One of them, let's call her Stacy, is kinda short. Something in me made sure to keep an eye on her and be with her even though I loathed the wave pools. The waves give me anxiety over the thought that anyone could drown.

Anyways, when Stacy started to struggle with the waves (they kept slamming into her face and she couldn't get away to breathe and stuff) the waves were pushing me away from her. I was trying my best to get to her. The other students were also trying to get to her as well but the waves pushed them away. 2 of the managed to get her away and towards me (which was super hard for them. they almost drowned). I managed to swim to them, and grabbed Stacy making sure to keep her head above the water.

By then Stacy was starting to kinda black out. The lifeguard (there were e on duty at that part of the park) finally saw us and jumped in. She got her out of our arms and she was yelling for the other lifeguards to turn the wave machine off but they couldn't hear her. She was telling people to get out of the way and another guard finally got to them lifting the students feet.

Stacy looked dead. She blacked out. One lifeguard held her by her arms while the other by ger feet. We were all running behind them. The lifeguards started doing their thing and the students were already crying. One of the kids who got Stacy to me, his mom was there and she is a nurse. She managed to get the water out of Stacy's lungs when the lifeguards couldn't.

People were crowding around and more life guards came. They were telling the crowd to give Stacy space. They let us be closer since we knew her and she was with us.

It was terrifying. I thought she died when they laid her down on the cement. She wasn't moving.

God, I was so freaking scared. I was shaking and trying not to go into a panic attack. Some of the students saw that I was trying to keep it together and hugged me. I was just trying my best to comfort those who were with us when it happened. It was crazy. The other teachers and students were trying to calm the ones who were with us.

Stacy is fine now. She has PTSD though, over water. She got a pretty bad scrape on her knee and her back is tense so she has to take meds and massages. But other than that, she is alive. Thank God.

As fo me, I currently have some form of PTSD. It's not as bad anymore. I'm not having panic attacks randomly throughout the day. I still get random flashbacks of what happened. I still taste the chlorine in my mouth. I am no longer shaking, it was bad the first three days. I do get triggered with words that relate to the accident. But I am slowly getting better.

I don't know when I will be able to write again, so please give me some time on that. Unexpectedly, I have plans/things to do in the summer. This pushes my writing plans back and I don't know how I will be able to handle writing 3 stories at the same time.

So...let me think more into my writing to see what I'm going to do. Sorry that this happened.

Until next time.

love,
Lux xx