Forgetting Austin

Here I sit in the last seat of the fifth row of my English class, tuning out the Scarlett letter completely. His short hair is sandy blonde and straight. I smile at the thought of his twinkly blue eyes and dimpled smile. I lean forward and whisper in his ear "lake after school?" He turns around smiling, showing those rows of teeth so perfect only years of braces could provide "you know it sunshine".

We walk hand and hand through the hallway, my curly brown hair flowing with every step and my hazel-green eyes staring into his. We catch nervous glances from people we pass and hear whispers from onlookers, we continue to walk. As I climb into the passenger seat of his silver 4 door sedan he kisses me right below my jaw "you know I love you right?" I laugh "probably not as much as I love you".

It'll never be this easy again.

Chapter One

I look like crap. Hair all knotted together, black tear stains on my clothes and sheets, and my face buried deep into my lavender pillow. I hear the door creek, but I don't bother to look up. Someone comes and sits next to me, instantly I know who it is. He rests his hand on my back for a second and then lays down carefully next to me. He doesn't talk, he just lays there letting my tears pour out. Finally, I don't know how much longer, but I look up at him, my best friend. He has a few dried tears on his face but no where as many as I've cried. I wrap my arms around his neck and try to speak after hours of crying. "S-Sean...I-I just miss him...so much" and with those hoarse words the tears erupted again, and again he lays there with me.

I woke up confused with a massive head ache but it only took me a second to realize he wasn't here anymore. The bed felt almost as empty as my heart without him in it. I look at the clock '3:26 AM'. "Dammit" I whisper to no one. I pull myself out of bed and walk over to my brown desk where my phone is charging, I guess Sean put it here. The room is dark but I know the space all too well. The brightness of my phone almost blinding me as I try to read the text message on the screen. "Sean: Ava, I know you're hurting right now and I wish there was more that I could do. Please Ava, stop blaming yourself, you weren't the one driving the truck. You had no idea what would happen that day. I love you, I'll be back tomorrow." I sigh, while a weird feeling sits at the pit of my stomach like a rock. I grab my phone and shuffle back over to my bed and sit with my head on my knees.

It's amazing how one minute someone can be there and the next they're gone. Flash backs I wish I didn't remember flicker through my head: Austin and I sitting in his car while he tells me he loves me, the both of us belting out Taylor swift lyrics while driving to lake shore, pulling off at the green light, feeling a huge weight hit the side of the car, blacking out, waking up seeing Austin covered in blood, screaming, my right arm and forehead hurting, sirens, blacking out again, waking up in a white walled room that smelled of flowers and salty tears, being hooked up to loud machines, hearing them use the words 'Austin' and 'gone' in the same sentence. I'm jolted back to reality but the buzz of my phone...who the heck is still up? 'Facebook: Keirra Thompson has invited you to join the page R.I.P Austin Johnston' A new wave if pain flows through me. I regret it after I do it but it's my only option, I'm calling Sean. A groggy voiced boy picks up the phone, sounding more tired than he probably should be, that's my fault. "Sean I'm sorry to call you this late but-" "Ava?!" He sounds wide awake now "Are you okay Ava? I'm sorry, I would've stayed but I didn't think your dad would approve. Do you want me to come over right now beca-" "Sean no! I just need to talk. I..I wasn't really ready last night but if you're busy sleeping it can wait until tomorrow." His voice slows down "No, Ava you say anything you feel like you need to say." "Okay. So this is a long story but it's really important..."

Sean

I'm walking out of the school and it's only 10:15 AM. "Fuck it who needs school anyway" I spit. I hate this place, there's only one thing keeping me here...her. I think of her pretty eyes and perfect skin, and smile. I walk to the bus stop, sending a text to my best friend "Austin: Bro, she hates me. Mrs. Meyers has it out for me I swear! I'm leaving so I won't need a ride after school today. Catch you later." I hit send and wait for the bus in the light drizzle. By the time I get home it's 11:32 and I'm exhausted, nobody's home so I plunge into bed still in my wet clothes and sleep.

I wake up to my phone blowing up. "Who the hell?" It's an abundance of text messages from different people but the one that sticks out is from Ava: "Sean! Help Austin and I hit! Hes bleeding, my arm" I hop out of bed and run down the stairs while calling Ava's number, no answer. I call Wyatt, straight to voicemail. What the heck is going on? I call his dad's cell, finally an answer. All I end up hearing is Rush hospital, Austin, critical condition, Ava, arm cut badly, hit by truck. I'm already in my mom's car. Within 15 minutes I'm at the hospital and looking for them. Room 316, I see him all battered, bruised, and pale. I run over to him yelling "you gotta hold on! You can't leave me, you can't leave Ava!" I sound angry but I'm crying, I look at his face "I love you man". And in that moment everything got out of control. I heard a weird noise and looked up to the heart monitor to see a straight line moving across the screen, beeping, doctors, yelling, I got pushed out. Time of death, 7:54 PM.