Forgetting Austin

Chapter 10

Ava

I fucked up man, I fucked up bad. It's been two days since Sean came and got me from the police station and he hasn't said a word to me since I called him that night. I regret everything I said to him, I regret even dragging him down with me since Austin's death. I don't know how I'll do it but I'll get him back, I need him back.

I sit with my head on my knees on my bed, well really it's Sean's bed. Ugh how am I ever gonna pay him back? I can't hold it in anymore. I burst out crying, loud. I know Ms. Hayes is at work so I could really care less about how loud I am, until...

Sean

'Baby I'm sorry, I should've never let you go especially for someone who doesn't even care about me. I should've believed you. Please call me, I love you <3.' I'm just about to send the message to Tinashe's phone when I hear a loud wail coming from upstairs. I ignore it and hit send on the message terrified of the reply.

The wailing continues for another 20 minutes so I reluctantly decide to go upstairs and see what's going on. I stop in front of Ava's door, she's crying so loud you would've thought the world just ended. I knock loudly enough to be heard over her crying and the second she hears it she becomes silent with a gasp. "W-what?" She calls from the other side of the door. "Are you okay Ava? You were crying pretty loud." "What do you care? It's not like we're friends or anything!" She screams from the room. "Are you kidding me?! You're the reason we're in this mess! You're so fucking unhappy, you know that?" The door swings open, her hair is in a messy bun and she has on that crew neck that I gave to her for her birthday last year. Her face is covered in tears. "Well maybe I'd be a little less unhappy if my best friend hadn't shot me down when I really needed him." She's trying to give me the guilt trip.

I laugh, "Real 'best friends' don't get treated like shit when they're just trying to help the person that they care about!" She looks at me, obviously hurt for whatever reason. "Sean, I was just so upset and confused and...and..." "Save it Ava. I told you when I came to get you the other day where we stand." "Sean please!" She yells hysterically, I feel like I'm in a soap opera or something. I walk towards the stairs. "Sean I love you! Not just like how best friends love each other, I'm in love with you." I stop walking, "You were 'in love' with Austin!" "That doesn't mean I don't love you." She says quietly.

I turn around to face her. "You don't know how hard it's been with you ignoring me these past few days." She says looking at her fuzzy slippers. "Ava I.." "No Sean listen. You're all that I have right now. I thought I'd by having a baby I'd have a little part of Austin too but then...you know. That kinda shattered me, I was so close to having that little piece of him and bam it was taken away just like that...just like him. I thought I could shield myself from being hurt again if I pushed you away, but that only made you and me hurt even more. I don't know what I was thinking, because doing that only made be feel like you were taken away from me too. And I thought when you came to get me the other night that we were okay, that you'd forgive me just like that and everything would go back to normal but you didn't. You acted like you could care less about me and I didn't know what to do. I was completely shocked and lost. Sean, I understand if you want me out of your life for good but...I just need you to know that I'm sorry for being so selfish and inconsiderate to your feelings."

She finally looks up from her shoes at me. Her eyes are full of sincerity. I slowly walk up to her until I'm standing about a foot away from her. She won't look at me. I get closer and I pull her into a hug. She's surprised so she doesn't hug back automatically but when she does I realize how much I missed her these past few days. We hug for a long time and when we finally let go she looks at me with something I can't make out. She abruptly presses her lips to mine and wraps her slender arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull us together as close as we can get. She starts moving toward the bedroom and I follow her. As soon as we're in I close the door and make sure to lock it. A few more steps backward and we tumble onto the bed breathlessly. She laughs excitedly when we flip over and she sits at the bottom of my stomach. She stares at me while she takes off my shirt only making me want her more. She leans down slowly and plants a kiss right below my jaw.

Ava

I missed Sean so much, and ever since that night at my dad's house I haven't been able to get him out of my head. As I sit in top if him he starts to pull up my over sized crew neck. I catch him biting his lip after it's been thrown on the floor next to his shirt. I impatiently pull off his gray basketball shorts and it's my turn to bite my lip. We slip under the covers and make out until he reaches in his drawer to grab something and my night ends in blissful love.

I wake up at about 1:45 AM to the sound of Sean's phone ringing. I slowly move from on top of him to reach down and grab his phone. I'm about to put it on silence when I see something that practically stops my heart. It's a missed call from Tinashe. I unlock his phone and see he has a new message. My heart tells me not to open it but my mind urges be to do the opposite. I click on the little green and white icon to she a blue dot next to Tinashe's name. I click again to read the messages, when a pang of guilt overcomes me. 'Tinashe: Sean baby I love you too! Don't worry I forgive you for believing that whore over me but lord help you if it happens again. I'll call you in a little while. <3 <3 <3'. Then I look up to see the message that he sent her less than an hour before we... I can't believe him. I stand up and yank the covers off of his naked body, he wakes up confused. "What the hell? Ava what are you doing?!" "Here explain this Sean!" I throw the phone at him and give him a chance to read the message from Tinashe. "Ava...I was just..." "I don't wanna hear it Sean! Just get out!" "But.." "OUT!" He puts on his shorts and grabs his other stuff as he walks towards the door. He takes one last look at me before he walks out but I refuse to look at him. "I really do love you Ava." And with that he walks out and closes the door.