One Night Stand

Chapter Twenty Four

The dressing room is filled with usual things needed by a bride to ready herself for the wedding. Few objects were scattered. There are hair blow dryer, pieces of make-up, hair clips, gel, and spray net used for a perfect elegant hair-do. Beside the hair brush was a glass of water meant for Lena to drink in case she felt nervous. Well.. she is.. nervous of everything, that is. She placed the tissue handed to her earlier on the dresser, contributing to the already messy desk. In a fee moments, Lena knew that her wedding organizer, Letty, will knock on the door and will fetch her, announcing enthusiastically that the wedding will start soon. "Dont be nervous. You look beautiful, it's your wedding day after all.", she imagined Letty would say.

She continued to study herself in the mirror. She is already made up. Her make-up has never been so simple that it looked so natural. The powder, the thick neatly made eyebrows, the long, curly eyelashes, the blushes on her cheeks, the thin red lips, it all looked so natural. And as the model that she is, she can tell how beautiful her face has become because of it. This is her most beautiful look. And yet she feel so broken inside.

Weddings are special. Weddings are endings for a new beginning. Weddings make people cry their hearts out. Weddings make people wear their hearts on their sleeves. Weddings are always the last scene of a happy ending fairy tale. Weddings make people feel blessed. Weddings are gifts from God.

Weddings are supposed to make her feel that way, those ways. But instead here she is.. crying her heart out of the love that she knew she can never had once she said 'I do.' She knew once those words left her mouth, she'd be a walking dead. It would kill her. It'd take her life force. She'd deprived herself of the life she's supposed to have. And what hurts most is that, she knew she had a choice.

No matter how impossible a situation is people always have a choice. The right to choose can never be taken away from you, just like how free will is. Life is about risks: risking it to make chances so ironic that one was ready to face pain, fear and most of all, death in able to live. She'd be making one crucial choice that she knew will turn her life upside down.

However, she knew clearly that she had to do it anyway. It will make her happy anyhow. This is for her father. This is for her to feel satisfied and happy bearing the thought that once again after fifteen years she made her father so happy.

She tried pushing the thoughts that this won't make her happy, at least for ever. She knew at some point she will regret this. But she does not need those regrets now. She'll deal with those later.

True enough, she did not have to wait long for the knock on her door. She took some tissue from the box and was about to dry her tears when she realized there were no tears. She might be crying of the pain, but her eyes were too tired, too exhausted to cry. Or maybe she was just trying to make herself numb of all of it, physically, at least.

"Hey, let's go! The car's waiting," announced Letty. Letty helped her with her dress as she walked down the stairs going to the wedding car outside the gate. Letty, as if sensing the turmoil inside her, kept silent. We all rode in silence. She can't tell if her mind drifted to somewhere or not, she just can't feel a thing. She refused to feel a thing.

Soon, the car stopped in front of St. Augustine's Church. Letty, who got out first, opened the door and helped her once again with her wedding dress. The end of it was long enough that it wasn't surprising it caught dirt. If the situation's a little different and normal, she could have been panicking by now. Her wedding dress was a mess for Pete's sake. But it was no normal situation. She was too upset to think, and too upset to notice someone approached the car, approached them. And she could never mistaken him for someone else, not in a lifetime. His dark chocolate eyes, his neatly cut hair that now seemed undone, his built, his stance, his presence, the way he filled the invisible room with his scent, the way he overwhelmed her senses. She could never forget the man she loved, and will always love. Even in her second life, She knew she will still be in love with him. Infinity and beyond, she will never love anyone the same way she loved him. She would never want to love anyone the same way, only him.

Letty looked startled seeing Adam, maybe because he was a complete stranger to her. "Ma'am, kilala n'yo po s'ya?"

That broke her out of her reverie. She turned to Letty, "Can you leave us for a while? Mag-uusap lang kami."

Kahit halatang napilitan, tumango si Letty at nagtungo sa simbahan.

Noon niya hinarap si Adam. She made her face void of emotion, wishing he had not notice how she reacted few minutes ago. "What do you want?" This man left her. For Trish. Yet, despite of it all, she still missed him. She still love him. All she wanted to do at that moment is to hug him and feel his warmth.

Instead, she pushed him away.

Indeed, love makes you stupid.

"I-I---" He reached for her hands. She intentionally avoided it. But for a second there, she felt guilty when she saw the pain reflected in his eyes. But she masked it with her composure. "Remember, this man did not love you.", she reminded herself. Or maybe, he loved her... only that it was not enough for him to bother leaving an ex-girlfriend for her. She guessed she just loved too much, huh?

He drew his hands back and maybe changed his mind, he reached for her again. This time she had no time, or maybe tired enough, she did not pull away from his grasp. "Please, Lena.. you don't need to marry him."

She could see all the pleading one could muster in his eyes. She had loved looking at those eyes.