Keep This Love (In a Photograph)

Chapter 25

Seven hours and eighteen minutes. That's how long he waits until there's a knock on the door that sends his pulse racing and forces him to breathe deeply a few times before he can get to his feet and stumble over towards the door. He throws the door open and he's pretty sure everything he's feeling is written all over his face like a map.

Liam's holding the sketches in his hand and he's staring at Zayn, confusion clearly etched into his expression. But there's something else, hiding underneath. Another emotion that Zayn's too scared to name.

"You said you miss me," Liam says finally. He holds up the paper and Zayn catches a glimpse of the sketch of Liam and Tiger and his heart clenches.

"I do," Zayn says hoarsely. "You have no idea."

"But I was here yesterday," Liam says slowly. His eyes are roving over Zayn's face like he's looking for something. "I've been here all week."

"Do you uh, wanna come in?" Zayn asks because he really doesn't want to do this in front of his neighbours.

Liam nods and steps inside, closing the door behind him. "Zayn," he says in a strained voice. "Why did you draw these? And leave them outside my house?"

"Because I'm an idiot," Zayn says, tilting his chin slightly as if bracing himself for a metaphorical blow. "Because I hurt you and I didn't realise we were in a relationship. And I miss it. So if the point of the past week was to make me realise all that, then it worked. And then some."

Liam exhales slowly and his shoulders relax a little. There's still confusion in his eyes though. "I wasn't trying to punish you," he says slowly, like it should have been obvious. "I was trying to show you that I wasn't leaving, like you thought I would."

Zayn's heart slams against his chest and he forgets to breathe for a moment. "But you were different. You didn't want to talk or cuddle or stay the night or spend any time with me. We never even made it to the bloody bed, Liam."

Liam laughs but it comes out harsh and frayed. "You basically told me that you weren't thinking about us long-term, Zayn. What did you want me to do? I was trying to protect myself! I was falling for you and I was so ridiculously, unbelievably happy. Like, I couldn't believe that I could be that happy. And then I overhear you telling your mum that I'm just a mate and you told me that you weren't feeling what I was feeling. That you weren't thinking about a future with me, while I was daydreaming about holidays we could go on together and maybe mov-" Liam breaks off, flushed and frustrated and he bites back whatever he'd been about to say. "Well, clearly we were on completely different wavelengths."

"No, we weren't," Zayn says quickly, stepping forward to grab Liam's wrist and holding on tight. "Fuck. I've messed this up so badly."

Liam sighs and shoves his hand through his hair. "Why did you think I was going to leave, Zayn? Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" Zayn reaches for Liam's other hand and locks their fingers together tightly. "No, Liam. I just. No one ever stays, okay? No one ever wants to stay when they realise I'm not mysterious and cool and whatever else people think I am. They realise I like comics and staying in and painting and shit, and then they leave. All of them."

"Well they're all stupid," Liam mutters fiercely. He strokes his thumbs gently over the back of Zayn's hands and gently pulls him closer. "I don't want to leave, okay? So if you don't mind me staying, then I'd like to. Yeah?"

"I really, really want you to," Zayn whispers, his heart in his throat. "But like, I can't promise not to be stupid again. I'll probably be really dumb all the time, and I'll probably always wonder why you're with me and not leaving. But I don't want you to leave."