The Crash- Dan x Reader

Chapter 41

*Your POV*

I was in the park for hours just totally oblivious to the time as all I could think about, no matter how hard I tried, was Dan and Simon. Their faces and names swirling around in my memory, I just wanted to forget about everything going on and just lose myself in the beautiful snowy atmosphere around me. It was after all December, one of my favourite months, I loved the lights and the joy all around, but right now I was finding it extremely difficult to focus on those things.

Everything I had been through with Dan then he just up and left without a real goodbye, I wanted to be so mad. I wanted to slam a million doors in his face, but then once I looked at his smiling, adorable face I just melted all over again. The way happiness showed itself all over his face, the way his eyes crinkled up at the sides and how the bigger his actual smile got the deeper his dimples got. I just wanted to jump into his arms and hug him.

But Simon, he had been there when Dan left me, when Dan just abandoned Phil, (F/N) and I leaving us all devastated and to linger in our sadness. Simon was the one to always cheer me up when I just wanted to crawl up into a hole and spend the rest of my life there. Or how Simon's jokes and smile were enough to make me smile right back at him. How his smile lines reached his nose when he was so happy and his eyes shut when he laughed too much. But Simon always felt like a consolation prize, he wasn't the blue ribbon but more of the participation ribbon of life.

After thinking I started walking back to mine and Simon's flat, my hands had started to go numb and my face was red and I looked like rudolph the red nosed reindeer. I twisted my key in the door knob pushing the door at the feat before me, Simon and Dan were standing head to head yelling at each other only stopping once they saw me standing in the door frame with my jaw dropped and eyes wide open.

They dropped their angry fists turning their bodies to face me completely, and to understate it, I felt slightly overwhelmed. They both kept their eyes glued to me staring me down until I flinched and they both moved their gaze toward the floor. I feel so lost in my home, what is happening? I moved closer to the two boys who were now staring down at the floor like I was their teacher and they had both misbehaved and were now in trouble.

"What the hell is going on here." I demanded answers from the two men I was head over heals with, but who more so?

Dan started, "Well, um this is awkward..." They both were twiddling their thumbs still avoiding eye contact with me.

"Simon," I growled, "What the bloody hell... is going on." I snarled at the two never taking my eyes off them.

"Well, I um... came to talk to Simon." Dan mumbled. "And we just got into a little disagreement. That's all."

I could see in his eyes how much of an understatement that was. Dan could lie to me, Simon on the other hand was the worst liar I had ever seen. Well at least when it came to me, he always cracked when I would give him my 'death glare'

So I turned my full attention to Simon asking him again, "What happened, the truth this time."

"Dan did tell you the truth, we just had a small argument." He stuttered, one of his tells, another one was how he couldn't hold our eye contact for more than a second at a time.Some others were how he kept scratching his neck, and his eyes constantly moving and not just to avoid eye contact with me but to just not look any one place for too long.

"Simon, I said the truth." I all but shouted at him. Simon keep his mouth shut still staring at his feet when Dan piped up.

"This is my fault (Y/N)," I shifted my attention over to Dan. "I came here to talk to Simon about how I still have feelings for you then he just got mad at me, which it TOTALLY understandable seeing as you two are engaged and I am just screwing everything up like I typically do. I just needed you to know (Y/N) that I love you, I've never stopped. I think I might die if I don't get to kiss you ever again, but I know I have no right to put you in this position. So if you want me to leave I will, you won't ever have to see me ever again, if that is what you want. I would honestly do anything if that meant you were content even if I wasn't because that's what love is." He said those words and I swore my heart stopped beating, whether it only stopped for a second or longer I didn't know, all I did know was that I was even worse off than before.

My jaw was still hanging open as Simon walked over to me pulling me into an embrace and I just stood there, not quite sure how to react. My arms were glued to my sides and eyes so wide that it started to hurt slightly. When I finally fell back into reality I pushed Simon off me, looking in between him and Dan. That's when Simon spoke up,

"(Y/N) I love you, I always have, I was the one there to comfort you when you had no one else. I was the one who stuck by your side when you felt hopeless. We are each other's everything... right?" I stopped all together. This tactic, I hated so much. I had seen it used before but never quite so elegantly as Simon pulled it off. It was almost subtle enough for me not to notice but I did and it made me so pissed. So I ran.

I pulled my coat on as I had begun running out the door to the flat leaving the two boys there by themselves. I only knew one place I could go and talk to someone, (F/N) and Phil.

The thing predominately in my head was how Simon dared to use the guilt tactic on me now.

A/N Did you see that coming? I really hope not. 

Thanks for reading,

Lyssy xo