take me back to the start

chapter 1: You Don't Mean That

September, 2011.

Rachel Berry stared intently at the bright lights of New York City from the window of the Greyhound, her heart palpitating deafeningly. For the last 9 and a half hours of the grueling bus ride from Lima, she'd been agonizing over her decision. But when the bus had began entering the city, her nerves were temporarily displaced. Yet despite the momentary awe-inspiring arrival, she couldn't help but let a stray thought slip through her normally rigid mental barricade.

I wonder if he likes it in Los Angeles. How could he not? The sun, the beach, the tan blonde abnormally tall girls...

Wait, what are you doing?

She internally berated her wandering mind.

What would Dr. Reynolds say? You promised both him and yourself you wouldn't waste any more tears over that boy. He isn't worth the time or the energy. Finn Hudson is a thing of my Lima past, and I won't let him taint my New York City future.

Shaking off the mental divergence, Rachel distracted herself by singing some show tunes under her voice, while trying to identify classic NYC landmarks.

20 minutes later she was coughing up dust looking forlornly at her new dingy living quarters. Times were hard, and after the economic crash, her fathers simply hadn't had enough money to get her anything more than a dilapidated Brooklyn studio (despite the fact that she wasn't even going to a real college so they were definitely saving big time on tuition). But truth be told, Rachel liked the multi-functional room that had once been part of a post-modern industrial building. She walked towards the window to look at the view, taking a moment to feel the weight of her situation. By her feet was a single suitcase (she'd decided to ditch all of the argyle and knee high socks in an attempt to exude more maturity and initiate a fresh start in her life), in her hand was her acceptance letter to the prestigious performing arts program she'd received a partial scholarship to, and in her pocket, 35 dollars. Just like Madonna. Okay maybe she also had a couple thousand dollars saved in her bank account, but who was counting the particulars anyways?

She was suddenly startled by her pale and overtly frightened reflection in the window. A familiar voice popped up in Rachel's head as she began to second guess herself.

Why do I always have to be the one to take the big risks? Why couldn't I be normal and take the safe route and go to college like everyone else?

Because, said the other, more self-assured voice,you're Rachel Berry. Brave, talented, special Rachel Berry who doesn't need anyone besides herself and her courage to achieve great things.

Rachel quickly reassured herself with one of her famous 100 watt smiles, and focused on the bustling city life beneath her. Yes, she was alone and terrified in a massive, unforgiving city.. but she could manage it, she always did. She gave the meandering lights of the city one last glance before turning back to face her new home. This was a fresh start, she would put the tragedy and darkness that had taken over her mind this summer behind her for good, and emerge a stronger and better person for it.

This was it.

No turning back.

Finn Hudson opened the door tentatively, he'd never been out of Ohio in his life, and he had no idea what to expect of the kids from California.

"Dude, welcome to USC! I'm Anthony."

Finn shook the hand of his gangly pimpled room mate, before replying.

"Hey, I'm Finn."

"So where you from?"

"Lima, Ohio. You?"