take me back to the start

Chapter 10: Playing Along

Early June, 2015. (2 weeks later).

"Seriously Finn stop you're giving me stomach cramps!" Rachel said through laughs at the goofy manchild in front of her who had been discreetly (and atrociously) juggling grapes under the table.

The two were at lunch, and surprisingly their whole friendship deal was working out. Maybe it was because they had established such a solid foundation as friends in high school, but they had somehow successfully reverted back to that comfortable friends-only dynamic.

Granted, the audition kiss had shaken Rachel up a whole lot more than she'd like to admit. But she had insisted to herself that her reaction had been perfectly merited considering the copious amounts of sentimental history the two shared. Plus she had come to terms with the fact that Finn Hudson was kind of undeniably charming, and only a lesbian could possibly resist that face.

"So," started Finn, getting serious again, "you're going to film this while still performing in West Side Story. How's that going to work?"

"Well they've scheduled most of my rehearsal, recording, and shooting times during the day so I can still perform on nights and weekends. I mean yeah my understudy will be getting a few more chances in the spotlight, but I just can't leave the show after only being on it for 2 and a half months. Plus I have a contract AND it's my Tony nominated role.. but at the same time I can't really miss out on this opportunity either right? So I'll just get like 3 hours of sleep a night for a few months, but it's nothing I can't handle."

"I guess.. It just seems like you're putting a little too much on your plate."

He was worried about her.

"Well my work is my life. I can't even imagine stopping."

"Yeah well one one level I can relate to that.. I know what it's like to live life at a really fast pace. So fast that you don't even really have to think about it. It's like putting your body on autopilot or something."

Rachel studied the large man in front of her, his eyes unfocused on some ambiguity in the distance.

Finn had never been the sharpest tool in the box. He wasn't actually stupid or anything, but he was just an inherently simple guy. But his simplistic perception of the world gave him this stripped down insight of the world. He saw things for the core of what they really were.

Rachel had used to call him secretly smart.

"Yeah I guess so," she continued, "Have you ever seen the movie Imitation of Life?"

"Nope, never even heard of it. What's it about?"

"Oh, well it's a classic from the 50's about a woman whose dream is to be a Broadway actress. But she essentially exchanges fame and stardom for her relationships, because her career ends up making her lose the people in her life that mean the most to her."

Finn looked at her significantly.

"Anyways," she said, brushing the meaningful look aside, "There's this one part where the woman is talking to her best friend/maid, and the maid asks her if her boyfriend, a playwright, ever stops moving, and her answer is that 'he can't, because if he did he'd be sure to see how sad his life really is,'."

There was a heavy silence between the two as they mulled those words over.

"And that's all that acting really is isn't it?" added Finn, "An imitation of life. It's not real, but we're so immersed in worlds of fantasy that we kid ourselves into thinking it is... Maybe we should have watched that movie before we both got swept down this vocational road that doomed us to these empty existences..."