Three Years On

Chapter Ten

Okay I'm really sorry that I'm not uploading as often as I'd like at the moment, but I'm on holiday this week, so hopefully I get a lot of writing done :D As always, comment :)

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     Michael thought for a long time about his conversation with Debby at the party. Even after they got back to St. David’s late at night he continued thinking about it. At the time it had seemed like a relatively unimportant exchange of thoughts, but the more he went over it the more significant it became.

     She had told him to accept the fact that she was with Alfie. He couldn’t help feeling like she knew what he was trying to do, and that she was telling him not to do it. She was happy in an odd sort of way, and she didn’t need him to come in and blow her world apart.

     He had been worried about Alfie forcing himself on her, but if he stayed, Michael would be the one doing the forcing. And he didn’t want to be that guy. She had made it clear over and over again that she wasn’t planning for anything to happen between them. Maybe it’s time I listened to her, he told himself.

     He didn’t actually fall asleep until five in the morning, and even when he did, he didn’t sleep well. He was restless and was awake again by nine. He let out a long sigh, knowing he wouldn’t get back to sleep.

     There was nothing for it. He knew what he had to do.

     He swung his legs out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom. After standing in the shower for a long time, letting the hot water beat down on his skin, he dressed and threw his few belongings into his bag. He checked that the guest room was tidy and even made the bed, then snuck out. He knew nobody would notice because Rob and Allison would be working and Debby would be in bed.

     He directed his car out of St. David’s, but instead of leaving, he pulled in at Beth’s house. She at least deserved an explanation.

     ‘Beth?’ he called out, opening her front door.

     ‘I’m in here,’ her voice came from the dining room/conservatory. She was sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal in front of her. ‘You’re up early today,’ she told him when he entered the room.

     ‘Yeah, I couldn’t sleep,’ he said, sitting down at the table across from her. ‘Beth I’m leaving.’

     ‘What?’ she asked. ‘Seriously?’

     ‘Yeah. Debby has made it clear she doesn’t want anything to happen between us,’ he told her.

     ‘But what happened to hating Alfie?’ she reminded him. She looked genuinely upset at his news, her silver eyes wide, her lips shaking slightly. ‘I thought you weren’t going to rest until they weren’t together anymore? And what about Blake? You promised you’d stick around to meet her. What about me? I wanted to spend my summer with you.’ She was talking quickly, trying to stop him, to get some sense into him with her endless questions.

     ‘I can’t,’ he said firmly. ‘Look Beth, I’d be happy for you to come and stay with me in Warwick in my flat, or with my parents in Manchester, but I can’t stay here. Not with Debby around. I don’t know how much longer I can last without being scared I’ll-‘ He stopped. He couldn’t believe what he was saying. ‘When I’m with Debby, I just want to grab her. I want to kiss her and hold her, and I can’t. I’m worried that I’ll just do it. I’m worried that I’ll- you know, force myself on her.’

     ‘Michael,’ Beth cried. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! You could never do something like that, you’re too good. Don’t even think it.’

     ‘I doubt I am. I’m human, just like everyone else, and I can only control myself to a certain point,’ he told her.