Three Years On

Chapter Thirty-One

So I'm actually crying as I write this :'( This is the last chapter, which I cannot believe. I know my books are kind of short, but that's the way they are. They're all just a work in progress. I hope to rewrite everything I've ever written one day, maybe when I'm finished school and have more time, which sadly isn't for a few years yet. When I do, who knows, they might get longer.

Yes, this is a trilogy, and there will be another book, from Beth's point of view, but the epilogue will tell you more about that ;) 

This chapter's dedicated to MikaelaKirk, because I did promise that the first person to comment on the last chapter would get a dedication. But, it's fitting really, because for this book she has definitely been my most dedicated reader, and the last chapter is always for my most devoted fan! 

So yeah, comment, comment, comment.

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     Michael could feel the wind on his face and hear the hollow howling in their silence. Debby didn’t look angry; she just looked bemused. Standing on her doorstep in her pyjamas, she looked young – younger even than Michael had ever known her. Even though this girl had ripped his heart out, ignored him as he chased after her not just this week, but when he’d arrived in St. David’s at the beginning of the summer, even though she was determined for him not to love her, his heart jumped at the sight of her.

     His natural instinct with Debby had always been to take her in his arms, protect her from the world and treasure her. He didn’t care how badly she treated him, how much she didn’t appreciate his romantic gestures, he loved her, till the end of the world. He couldn’t resist the urge to stand up, sliding off the wall with a small jump, and start moving towards her.

     ‘Go away Michael,’ Debby told him. It was a command, but it didn’t really sound like one. Her heart wasn’t in it, and they both knew that she was secretly jumping for joy at seeing him.

     ‘Debby, I know you’re mad at me,’ Michael started, halting a few steps in front of her. ‘But just don’t say anything and listen. Let me do the talking this time.’ He paused in case she was going to object, but she didn’t. Instead, she moved her hands to her head, adjusting her hair slightly, pulling on it to tighten the elastic in it. Once she was done, she moved her arms back down and crossed them over her chest.

     Michael inhaled deeply. This was it. ‘I’ve never been the guy that knows what he wants to do with his life,’ he started, looking down at his hands. He spread them wide, observing his fingers. ‘When I was really young everyone else had these ridiculous dreams, but I had none. Even when I applied for universities I didn’t really know. I chose to do politics because it was interesting. I never really wanted a job in politics though.’ He sighed slightly and looked up now. She was in exactly the same pose, trying to look defensive and sure of herself.

     ‘As cheesy as it sounds, I think I was just waiting for you,’ he told her, looking into her brown eyes. ‘Three years ago, you changed everything for me. I told myself when I left here at the end of the summer that it was over, but secretly, a little part of me knew that it wasn’t. It’s never going to be over.

     ‘Last week you said that we were never meant to be together forever, but that’s the only thing that I’ve ever been sure about. I may be broke, I may have no job and no clue, but I know, whatever I do, I want you by my side.’

     He stopped talking and squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them he was hoping to see a reaction on her face, but she still hadn’t moved an inch.

     ‘You’re mad at me, and I get that,’ he continued, nevertheless. ‘I lied to you. And you can’t trust me anymore; you have no idea if I’ll lie to you again in the future. But I was eighteen at the time. I didn’t mean to do it, but I hadn’t yet learnt that lying just comes back to bite you on the ass.

     ‘I should have told you exactly what I remembered of that night – which wasn’t much. That way it would have been easier to explain when I realised we hadn’t actually slept together. I thought back then, that it would be easier if I just told you we had done it, after all I was sure we had.

     ‘I was stupid. That’s all I can say. And I promise to never lie to you, ever again. But please, please forgive me. Because without you… ‘ He had to pause, to control his voice. He could feel tears rising, he knew they were coming, and the back of his throat felt like it was wide open, so much so that it almost ached. He swallowed the feeling and ploughed on. ‘I’m nothing. You are my future. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to yourself. I need you.’

     He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take her nonchalant pose, he couldn’t take her icy glare, and he couldn’t take the feeling he had inside. His legs collapsed underneath him, and he found himself in a pile on the floor. His floodgates opened, and the tears spilled out.

     He pulled himself into a ball and used his hands to cover his face. He was pathetic. She could do anything to him. She had the power to turn him into mush. It felt like he was sitting on the ground in front of her house for a long time, but he got disorientated somehow, and lost all sense of place and time.

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     Michael woke up in a bed. He had no idea how he’d gotten there, having no memory of anything after his scene in Debby’s front garden. It was difficult opening his eyes, as the eyelashes stuck together. He sat up rapidly and looked around, recognising Debby’s room.

     ‘Careful,’ Debby chided him. She was sitting on the bed next to him, and put her hand to his chest to push him back down. Michael’s head spun, making him wince, so he didn’t resist her efforts to get him to lie back down. ‘You okay?’ she asked. ‘What is it?’

     Michael cleared his throat. ‘I’m a little dizzy,’ he told her hoarsely – it felt as if he hadn’t spoken in days. Debby reached to the bedside table on her side of the bed and turned back with a glass of water in her hand.

     ‘Here,’ she said, handing it to him. Michael drunk some patiently then handed it back.

     ‘What happened?’ he asked at last.

     Debby reached out and put a hand on his arm. ‘You were in such a state,’ she told him. ‘You just started crying and couldn’t stop. You couldn’t even talk when I tried to talk to you. So I lead you up here and lay you down. You fell asleep immediately.’

     Michael propped himself up on his arm and nodded his head slowly. He couldn’t remember coming into the house. It seemed ridiculous – that he could be that upset.

     ‘I guess you were just emotionally exhausted,’ she told him, her lips curving into a slight smile as she spoke.

     They looked at each other in silence for a minute, but then Michael had to ask. ‘What does this mean for us Debby?’

     Debby shifted herself slightly, so that she was kneeling next to him. She put her hand to his forehead, pushing his hair back affectionately. ‘I heard every word you said,’ she told him.

     She moved closer to him and kissed him. They didn’t need to say anything more; they were on exactly the same page. They still loved each other more than anything, three years on.