Sweet Sadistic Love (Larry Stylinson)

Sweet Nothings

Authors Note; I always put this in Harry's POV so I guess there is no point in putting 'Harry's POV' lol sorry for the long wait guys

                                     January 1, 2011

Dear Lou,

I figured it out, I know the unknown now. I know everything that I have been questioning for about eight months; I just feel it. I can feel it in my bones, in my heart and soul. I don't know what it is about this cliche feeling, but it gives me this satisfactory feeling that I just can't ignore. I think, well I think that I'm in love with you. I know there is this unexplainable feeling that I have towards you, I'm positive about that, but is it love? I'm too young to comprehend that emotion, right? I think the rather intimate moment we shared three hours ago might've answered that question; although you were piss drunk, it was still intimate to me.

Since tonight was New Years we shared many drinks and laughs; I think you had a bit too many because you were all over me, not that I'm complaining. I loved it. We were dancing around in our flat with the lot and a few other friends, the music was pounding along with our rushed heart beats. I recall you grinding against me, but I could tell you were pissed so I'm sure you were just confused, Lou. You're hips were perfectly in sync with mine though; the way your hands were roaming my hot, sweaty body, and the way my slightly tanned skin shivered under your hot, minty breath; the moment was very much enjoyed on my part. I had to leave at some point to fix a slight uh, problem. If you know what I mean.

But when I came back, you were at it again and you started to put your hot, sweet lips against my chilled neck. I moaned and you chuckled against my neck then pulled me towards your room. I think it was your room atleast.

My heart was pounding against my chest and my lower region was rather, excited persay. Your petite hands kept fingering my earthy toned curls and your soft lips kept finding their way to my neck. Lou, what are you doing to me? First the hard on then you going down on me? Can't say that I didn't enjoy it though because I'd be lying if I did. Anyways, your soft hands found there way under my shirt and started feeling up my chest; your fingers shifted over scars and you looked at me with puzzled eyes. You slurred out "Haz whu are those?" and I just simple replied "nothing" while my heart rammed against my rib cage. My shirt eventually found the floor as well as yours and all of the sudden you stopped. Your bright, sea blue eyes stared back at my emerald green ones and you just smiled; you pulled me into your toned chest and squeezed my smaller body in your larger one. We fell down onto the bed and I cuddled into your chest while you played with my curls and whispered sweet words into my ear. Your soft fingers kept moving swiftly around on the slightly raised scars embedded in my stomach while I drew random shapes on your stomach like I'd imagined for months on end. Although you were messing with a slight darkness from my past, I found a way to look past it because nothing else mattered except for your perfect body cuddling up next to mine.

But sadly, when you woke up, you didn't remember a thing. Or atleast you played it off like you didn't. With the amount of alcohol that you consumed I'd imagine that I was correct, you didn't remember shit. All the sweet nothings you whispered in my ears were just the alcohol speaking. I knew I shouldn't have kept going, I honestly have no idea where my mind was.

I had just set myself up for failure again. I really need to stop doing that, and I think loving you will just lead me down the road of disappointment and sadness. But, I don't think that I can avoid that soul feeling. This will be harder than I had originally thought. Lou, you need to stop being so fucking beautiful and perfect. You need to stop! I can't do this okay? You are my only fucking weakness, Lou, and you are shooting me with your perfect blue eyes and spontaneous personality. God damn it Lou, why do I feel so strongly towards you? I don't get it. This has never happened before; ever since I ran into you in the X-Factor bathroom my life has been tragically beautiful.

I'm getting extremely tired and I don't think I can write much more. Although I won't sleep much, I'm not sure I can write much more because my hand has become cramped and I think you'really waking up. Its around 6am and I may have or may not have just dropped my glass of water. Here's a really late sorry for that. I'm just going to copy down this poem I wrote before I began to write in this journal tonight.

The Infinite Complication

If you fall

Too hard

Too fast

For a person

That makes your world spin

And makes your life both Heaven and Hell

Then Love is an

Understatment

Love isnt a strong enough word to

With hold the

infinite

complications involved in this

Feeling

Love alone is just a feeling

An endorphine let loose in your brain

But love, fear, hurt, and hell

Is the

Infinite complication

That keeps your

Heart beating fast

And keeps you

alive yet so close to death

at the same

Love you Lou.

Haz xx