Sweet Sadistic Love (Larry Stylinson)

Preserving Happiness

HARRY'S P.O.V.

                             September 7, 2010

Dear Journal,

We did it. We really fucking did it! Well not exactly, we didn't win X-Factor, we came in third, but we got signed. We were mother fucking signed! You know how spontaneous and wonderful this that? The boys and I were signed, we are an official band now. I'm not saying we weren't before, because we most definitely were, but now we have our own record label, management, and many other things. It just all seems more official and real I guess, but at the same time it all seems so surreal. I honestly can't believe we actually did it. I have faith in us as a group, no doubt about that, but after we came in third I didn't think we would get offered a record label; that kind of thing doesn't just happen everyday.  I still remember every bit of yesterday; how our (the boys and I) world was turned upside down the flipped right back up. I remember the tension and nerves choking us, restricting our breaths from being normal. I remember every flinch, squirm, shake, and worry that was upon me. I remember everything and I couldn't be any happier to remember every second of this great moment in my history; in our history.

*FLASHBACK*

As the lot and me wait for our destined call, my nerves begin to rattle and burst. I can't contain the excitement mixed with a nervous breakdown that is within my self at the moment. All of the nerves are quite obvious in my eyes and actions. I keep bobbing my alright leg up and down, I keep biting the inside of my bottome lip occasionally bringing it in between my teeth, my hands sweating profusely, and my grip around Louis' hand is tight. I don't really know why he is putting up with such a grip, my hand is sweaty and disgusting. His toleration makes almost no sense, but I don't mind because he is holding my hand.

Lou's thumb began to rub circles on the back of my hand and all of the sudden the nerves I once had began to subdue. My right leg stopped shaking and I stopped tearing away at my lip with my teeth. I think Lou noticed the sudden change in my actions considering he turned to me and gave me a reassuring smile. His lips parted slightly as if he was going to speak, then he abruptly stopped. I returned a smile trying to urge him to say what he was originally going to, but he just turned away. I felt an emptiness in my head, but yet it felt bloated at the same time. My mind was swarming with questions and wanders.

"Lou, you okay mate?" I simply asked.

"Er, yeah I'm fine just worried as all" Lou attempted to smile but it ended up looking half assed.

"You sure? Ya know you can tell me right? I'm here to listen Lou" My Cheshire accent spoke with concern.

"Well uh yeah never mind its kinda stupid" Lou looked towards the ground, but I ushered him to tell me.

"Lou tell me, I'm all ears" I smiled reassuringly.

"Well uh okay" He paused then continued. "I'm just, well I'm just worried that us guys won't stay together if we don't win- I will miss you uh"  Lou stuttered the "you"  then went on quickly. "you guys a lot"  He then looked up at me with worried eyes, I could tell he was qenuinely worried sick.

"Lou, its gonna be okay, alright? Don't worry about the future because the future is uncertain, anything can happen. Just focus on the positive" I smiled then returned to my semi-uplifting speech. "And trust me I would miss you-uh you guys a lot too, probably too much so I don't think I will let such a thing happen"

Lou smiled brightly, turned his body towards mine, then hugged me tightly. 'God his embrace feels amazing' I thought as he kept rubbing circles on my back gently. He then slowly removed his strong arms from my lanky body and I felt a slight pink tinge make its way towards my cheeks.