Chapter 10
*AALIYAH’S P.O.V*
Ambivalence; the condition of having varied thoughts or clashing ideas about something or somebody- right now, that word explained my feelings towards Harry completely. It was as if he was a total different individual in my eyes, as if the boy that used to torture me during school had fled town, and was replaced with this boy that I have come to know. It had been a month since the pool incident and a month since I’ve been cheating on Aaron. Did I feel awful? Of course; do I plan to bring to an end seeing Harry anytime soon? No.
The further I hang around with Harry, the more I am attracted to him. Every day that I see him leaves me wondering what is going on in his life, what does he do when he’s not with me? It was as if he was a mystery, one that couldn’t be solved by anyone unless he wanted them to. The moments we spent together, were not always smooth, we did argue over a lot of stuff, our opinions on most things are very diverse… and yet I cannot stand to be away from him for more than two days.
When I was with Aaron, I found myself counting the moments till it was over. The further time I spent with him, the more I realised how much of a prick he was. Harry was continuously asking me to leave him, telling me I deserve better and essentially telling me to be with him instead. Of course I always say no, I loved Aaron, and he just wasn’t worth losing. Besides, he had done nothing to me, I was the one cheating.
School was always hard; I had to deal with seeing Harry and Aaron in one place. Most of my classes contained both boys, except for Maths were it was just Harry.
“Ok class, open your work books and copy down what I’m writing on the board.”
Mrs. Ethan was my favourite educator, but that might have been because English was my favourite topic. As nice as Mrs. Ethan was, she wasn’t much to look at. Her wavy grey locks hung like a deceased object on her cheeks, and her saggy eyelids overshadowed her dim chocolate eyes.
I looked across the room as the noise of turning pages filled the room. I focused on Aaron, who was two desks ahead of me. His head was facing the ceiling and a pen was between his lips, being chewed at nastily. I cleared my throat, grabbing his concentration. I pointed to my work book, gesturing for him to get on track. He rolled his eyes, turning his notice away from me once again and continuing doing nothing.
I looked next to me, where Harry was attempting to shift his writing table closer to mine inconspicuously. I stared at him, wide eyed as he continued his rude act, a grin playing on his attractively featured face as he moved closer.
“Harry, stop.” I whispered, trying hard not to draw any attention. Of course, Harry disregarded my command and continued shuffling over to me until our tables touched. He sighed with happiness, as if he had just succeeded in something. If he was doing this to irritate me, it was effective.
“How are you, love?” he whispered, his croaky tone as bottomless as ever. It sounded even sexier when he was whispering.
“Harry, move away, we’ll get in trouble.”
“Don’t be such a goody-two-shoes. Nobody cares as long as we do our work.”
I was troubled by an unexpected hand on my knee; I clasped the bench as it began travelling up my thigh, stopping right under my heat.
“What’s wrong, love? You look a little flushed.” Harry teased. I wish I could smack that sneer off his face- my heart began pounding against my chest at the consideration of students around me noticing Harry’s hand. I placed my hand on top of his, badly trying to remove it off my inner thigh.
“Harry please.” I begged, but his hand remained motionless, my strength being too feeble to match his determination. He began moving his hand closer towards my private, his fingers brushing against it as I once again latched onto my desk. I breathed in harshly as he palmed my private, rubbing his hand up and down as I scratched at my desk.
“Ha-Harry.” I almost moaned, and at last, he removed his hand, leaning over to my ear, “we’ll continue this later, this time, less clothes.”
***
After school, I waited for Aaron outside the gates where he would regularly walk me to his car. When he finally showed, he was walking with a girl from our History class, Lily. They were walking close together, their eyes locked on each other as they laughed about something. When Aaron saw me, he stopped, kissing her on the cheek as he said goodbye to her. Something didn’t seem accurate, although I wasn’t anyone to critic, he was still my boyfriend. Maybe he had seen Harry’s hand on me in class and he was trying to get me back? Whatever it was, I wasn’t pleased about it.
“Hey, babe.” Aaron greeted as he gestured for me to come to him.
I was quiet as we walked towards the car, the song from Aaron’s earphones blasting, clearly suggesting that he didn’t aim on making conversation with me either. I just wanted to go home and see Harry. I yearned for his touch, and our previous contact in class made my want for him worse.
As we reached my home, Aaron leaned over to me, pouting his lips as he brang them close to mine. I abruptly felt a flash of fright fill my body. My breathing came to a stop as his lips clashed onto mine. And although it was a small peck, it made an enormous force on my emotions. I tried a phony smirk as I left the car, still finding it hard to breathe as I entered my dwelling. I ran to my room, throwing myself on my bed as I tried to recount what had just happened. Aaron was my boyfriend, and yet I felt as though kissing him was immoral, as if he was some unfamiliar person that was assaulting me. Maybe it was we hadn’t really showed affection to each other for a long time. Maybe it was because I wasn’t used to it any longer. Or maybe it was because I was truthfully, and intensely, in love with Harry Styles.
