Italics = Josh's thoughts
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That night josh lay in his bed thinking. He had a secret that he was keeping from his group of friends. He was gay. He hadn't told anyone except Simon. Keeping this secret from everyone kept Josh up at night on multiple occasions. Thinking about his sexuality sometimes made him want to come out but other times his mind would speculate and make him think of different scenarios about what would happen if he did.
Sometimes he would think about his friends and family disowning him and wanting nothing to do with him. Nights like this often ended up in him resulting to tears in his bed as his mind played games. Tonight was one of those nights.
Josh lay their silently crying to himself. Looking over at his phone, he sat up and grabbed his headphones. He put some warm clothes on and climbed onto the roof outside of his window. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he put his headphone in and just sat there looking up at the stars in the night sky, thinking about every thought that was racing through his mind.
Why do I have to be gay? It's not a bad thing but why me? Why could I tell Simon so easily but I can't tell anyone else?
Josh sighed to himself knowing he would eventually have to come out to his friends and family. But how ? He couldn't just walk up to them, say he was gay and then act as if he had said nothing. Maybe Simon could help him. He stayed out on the roof for at least another hour. Checking his phone he saw that it was now 5:35am and he had to be up for school at 7:00am. Standing up, he quickly got back inside and quietly closed his window. He climbed in bed and placed his phone next to his bed on his draws. At least he could have an hour of sleep, or try to have that long.
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I feel like I haven't updated in a while but it's only been a few days I think. Anyway, hope you all had a good Christmas and all that shiz. Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter 😊✨
