Eddsworld oneshots ❤

Eddx reader-when will you two stop fighting?

"OH YEAH? AT LEAST I AM NOT A FUCKING COMMUNIST YOU ANIME BASTARD! YOU ARE LIKE KID, WATCHING CHINESE CARTOONS!!!"

"SHUT UP YOU FREAKING JEHOVAH'S WITNESS! IT'S CALLED HENTAI AND IT'S ART! BESIDES, COMMUNISM WAS GOOD IDEA, BUT WAS REALIZED BY FUCKING IDIOTS!"

Tom and Tord were arguing. Again. You were sitting on the sofa with their friend Alex, she seemed annoyed as fuck. You were getting tired of them too. As they yells grew louder Alex growled with rage.

"HOLD KJEFT FAEN!!!"

Tord instantly stopped. He pushed Tom away and looked at the floor.

"*whispers* what did you said that Tord stopped fighting? Magic spell?"

You whispered to her.

"Nah, i just yelled in Norwegian 'shut the fuck up'"

You said again

"Oh *stops whispering" Guys, i...WE understand that you don't like eatch other, but that don't mean that you have to fight! Could you be more tolerant?"

They looked at each other, still looking at floor. Alex looked at you, then said 'booring', went to the kitchen to grab Smirnoff and then straight to her room punching Tom in the back of his head. He yelped. Tord snickered, as you wait till Alex will be gone.

"Ekhm! As i was saying, you should be more tolerant. Like me! Or Alex. She is good thing here, because look at her-she likes alcohol, hentai, guns, she is girl, she is atheist, she is bisexual and more important, she is communist. We all know that. And after all of that, you guys still hang out with her. Or me. We are not enemies, not besties, but friends. Mates. HOUSEMATES. If we want that house still stand on it's own, you guys should stop fighting. Tom-"

You pointed at him

"-you are Jehovah's Witness; you are drunk for most of the week, and you are just to be said-prick. You are rude and sarcastic all the time. You should be nicer. And you-"

This time you pointed at Tord

"-for fucks sake, you are nearly like Alex! You love hentai, don't even try to say it's not true. Alex found some of you BIIIIG collection under your bed. You also love guns *mumbles* so do i...*normal* anyways! You are communist, idk if you are christian or not, i still am friends with you. It don'f bother me that you are who you are. You are my friend, and you have to accept it. So be good boys and say sorry. C'mon, i don't have all day!"

You said. They looked at eatch other, then looked away. You just sighed, jumped through sofa faceplanting on the floor, standing up then making up your hoodie. You go over the guys, grabbed both of them by sleeves of their hoodies and called for help. The first one to show up was the one and only-Alex. She underdtood what you were trying to do, so she grabbed Tord from behind, under his arms, so he wouldn't escspe quickly. You did the same to Tom. You still needed help, and Alex saw that, screaming

"NOT THE MIRROR!!!"

in less than half of a minute you saw Matt. He looked around, then you told him the plan. He nooded quickly, running off somewhere. After few minutes he came back with pan. He smashed struggling guys in the heads with silent 'sorry guys', enough hard to make them pass off. You carried Tom with Matt, he took Tom's legs and you took his arms, then Matt showed us room with two chairs and chains. Alex followed behind them taking Tord with ease-she just threw him on her shoulder, holding his legs so he wouldn't fall off her. All of you placed red and blue on chairs (the chairs were red and blue, and so were chains- Tord was chained with blue one on the blue chair, Tom on the red) You and Alex chatted till you saw by the corner of your eye that they are awake. Both of you stand up, taking with you two mp3's one of them was purple, the other one was (f/c)