Big Bang - Shout Out To The World! (English Translation) [2009]

A dancing rapper? [~ Pt.Five~]

Before entering into YGE as a trainee, the word ‘dancing’ was something that I never thought about. Even though I performed in a lot of clubs when I was younger but for a person that liked hip-hop and wanted to be a rapper, ‘dancing’ was never part of that equation. Now it was waiting for me.

Even though I said I wanted to be a lyric poet earlier on but to me, a rapper helped deliver messages to others too. An MC (short for ‘Move the Crowd’) could also be a rapper…they had to move the audience! The first time I heard that explanation, I thought it was a very cool way to express oneself. A rapper has his own color and is different than a singer who can show off his elegant moves on stage. The power of a rapper is that he has his own philosophical lyrics and his own way to express it.

The joy of delivering a rap creatively for listeners was already enough for me and I didn’t need an element such as dancing to complete it. Even without dancing, standing on stage and moving the audience with words was the charm of Hip-hop.

My thoughts are a bit different now. Rapping and dancing on stage can express more and “having fun with the audience” is more important. I’m thankful that Mr. Yang Hyun Suk’s expectation of me dancing is not that high. Perhaps he also thinks that “T.O.P. dancing well” isn’t really suitable to my image. It was different when I was auditioning however since I didn’t know what would happen in the future and that was all I could think about. To learn dancing that I had never even touched during my 20yrs of existence was a hard and difficult process. My heart wasn’t in it so my body didn’t adjust well either.

My mind was a bit complicated during auditioning. Not only was I worried about dancing but knowing that the documentary would be recording the members who would/wouldn’t make the cut, my biggest concern was: “I’m an idol

group so does that mean I have to learn choreography?” How would my seniors, juniors, and coworkers think of me now? I had mentioned to them my passion for music during my activity as an Underground rapper. Would they think I’m yet another “singer” following other people’s footsteps? These thoughts passed through my head day after day.

The hyung who did choreography yelled at me several times a day because I had thoughts like that. “It’s fine if you can’t dance, but at least have the will to do it! If you can’t show me that you want to try, then I can’t teach you anything else.”

Hardened, no feeling, no passion….I used one sentence to express myself.

If we had a picture that showed us the future of BIGBANG, I don’t think I would have had so many worries back then. I couldn’t see what a dancing rapper was so that’s why there were so many doubts. After a long time of debating with myself, I had a conclusion, “Even though I never imagined a dancing rapper, but if that was the only thing blocking me from my successful audition, then let’s try it out. If successful hip hop artists like MC Hammer & B2K’s Lil Fizz could act and rap too, I can also work hard with my ability to rap creatively and providing the audience with a visual joy.” When I thought about it like that, my frustrations all eased at once.

To be honest, it would have been very funny if I missed my chance to be part of YGE due to my poor dancing. When I first started to become a trainee, I couldn’t bear the thought of being stuck in a room for the entire day. I had a thought that, “if I train for 5hrs with a serious attitude, can I at least go outside and live my life?” I felt that was more important than dancing.

Another idea I had was to think if it was okay that I was separated from the other members during our dancing practice. Thinking back however, if we weren’t treated equally during our trainee days, the group called BIGBANG wouldn’t be created so well. Mr. YG probably thought of that too while creating his groups.

“Be a person before being a singer”. Since I didn’t have a lot of passion in things when I was a child but after going through a difficult process where I was stuck in a room that I couldn’t stand, a sense of pride started to ignite within me.

If I gave up the chance to audition, the life that I have now may not even appear in my dreams.

My belief that liking hip hop meant that I had to listen to different cultures and music was a dangerous way of thinking. If a rapper has skills, he can perform rap not only in hip hop but in all sorts of music genres like folk, love songs, and even in dance. Practicing with BIGBANG members are a joy everyday, especially when working with Jiyong. The balance between his high pitch combined with my low pitch matches quite well together.

If there’s anything I want to achieve, I have to believe in myself through my hard work and my own skills that I’ve accumulated. Even though it’s great to enjoy what we’ve got in the situation, but using my hard work to continue further down the road is also important.

If I grab the chance to lead now, I will diminish the amount of stress I get. If I miss the chance then I fail. If I grab a hold of it, then I’m lucky.