What is worse than facing failures? [~ Pt.Five~]

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by Galaxy_FanFan88

by Galaxy_FanFan88

Although I am a very optimistic person, I felt nervous when the day of announcement(which members were going to be selected) drew nearer and nearer.

I felt breathless since the competition was so fierce. Even a optimistic person likes me felt so much stressed at that time, I felt if people of my age had to face similar situation, they would be even more tensed up. I kept saying to myself, ‘it is okay, I can do it.’ but it seemed that these words did not help much.

However, I could not show what I was actually feeling at that time, I was just acting like nothing had happened or even I pretended that I was indifferent to all of this.

The president always told us, ‘being able to live up to your goal is totally different from you THINK you are able to do it. ‘

What I thought at that time was. ’ I had been treating being a singer to be my ultimate dream ever since I was small. What if I fail this time? What else I can be if I am not granted a chance to be a singer?’

I was thinking so much about these questions that I could not sleep properly at night. I was even haunted by nightmares at night.

Luckily, the turning point came one night. That was a stormy night and the rain was so heavy that I had to shut the windows lest the raindrops would be splashed into my room. When I was running to shut the window, I noticed there was something amazing happening…

There was a little spider which was busy knitting its web at that time…It was so small but it kept trying its best to fight against the big raindrops. He wanted to keep its web intact. I was so stunned seeing it so I even forgot that I wanted to close the window originally.I stared at it for a long period of time. Then, I realized what I should do at that very spur of time.

‘This small thing knows that what follows stormy nights will always be sunny days so it has not given up no matter how many times it has to try. It DESIRES to live so much and being a singer is also what I DESIRE most.’

I saw myself in it. For me, I desire to be singer as much as desiring to live for the little spider did. If I could not achieve this, my life would become meaningless.

This is THE reason why I had been working so hard. I DESIRE my music can be an inspiration to many people, I DESIRE to be a singer.

That’s it. That is my desire. That is my purpose of living.

What is worse than facing failures?

I think it is the thought of giving up trying.