Discovering dreams within a vague shadow [~ Pt.Two~]

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by Galaxy_FanFan88

by Galaxy_FanFan88

What happened in Grade 9/10 made me determined that I could no longer dwell in this “painful world”. A close friend of mine left this world after a

motorcycle accident and soon after that, another friend of mine passed away from a car accident after driving without a license.

People were cold and distant about my friends’ deaths…they were not even slightly concerned about them. My other friends started to drop out of school after being constantly reminded they were “problem teens”. Up until this moment, I have no friends that are still in school. I felt that my life was non-existent after watching my friends leave one by one, but I still slowly tried to sort it out. However, reality was harsh and even after changing schools, the rumors and gossip kept surrounding me. Some kids at school picked fights with me and teachers were vigilant around me. Not one of them would actively stand up for me nor give me advice. Besides being an invisible person, there was nothing else I could do and I started to hate going to school.

If there is anyone out there now who feels the same way as me when I was still a student, I want to say one thing, “what you’re doing now is inadequate and shameful.” Even though I think the current me is much better, but to ruin your own reality by showing people what you think and want is very stupid.

During that time in Grade 9/10, I started to officially write lyrics. I started talking less and my thought process started to change too. Perhaps it was because I thought of one thing after another and it started to get deeper and darker. When I was in too deep, I couldn’t deal with the frustrations. My goal was still in front of me though and since it was always something that I wanted to do, I didn’t allow myself to be wary of anything.

I had 2 wishes when it came to doing things related to Hip-hop. One was to become a rapper and the second one was to sell a lot of brand name items together. It was hard to find Hip-hop items back then because almost all were imported so I thought about finding all the rare items and and sell it at a ‘Hip-hop Multishop’ to make things easier for Hip-hop buyers.

Now that I think about it, although it was a dream that was far-fetched but it became more real as I attempted it.