Everything Personal

Sing Me To Sleep

I slammed into the door of the basement pushing it open violently.

“What the fuck was that?!” I asked with a raised voice but not so that I was yelling. Alex, Rian and Zack all pointed to the bookcase full of CD’s and then Alex and Zack pointed to Rian.

“He did it!” Alex and Zack chorused pointing at a laughing Rian who was now on the floor.

“God, I thought one of you had fallen down the stairs. Don’t scare me like that!” I sighed.

Alex over to me and squeezed my waist twice. I jumped around to see a smiling Alex. I hugged him as a sharp corner hit the back of my head.

“Ow,” I said rubbing my head and turning around.

“Sorry that was meant for Alex,” Rian said still giggling on the floor.

“What?” Alex asked clueless “Sorry I was lost in Alice’s eyes.”

“Aw you cutie!” I said before kissing him.

Rian finally stopped laughing and got up. He started picking up the CD’s as Zack pulled up the bookcase from the floor. Together they put ll the CD’s back on the shelves.

“I’m going to go see Jack. I feel kinda bad for him.” Rian said making his way to the door.

“Yeah I suppose I’d better go to.” Alex agreed whilst Zack nodded and joined Rian at the door.

“Okay. See you guys later.” I replied as they walked out of the door. “Hmmm...” I said looking at the many guitars in their stand. I finally picked up a black Gibson Les Paul Melody Maker and plugged it into the amplifier. I waited until I heard a door close. Then started playing Good Riddance.

“Another turning point a fork stuck in the road, time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go.” I began the song once I heard the door close

“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.” I sang as I heard violent footsteps thundering down the flights of stairs. 

“So take the photographs and still-frames in your mind,” I sang. Alex burst into the room with a sympathetic look on his face. He grabbed a microphone and then said

“Are, are, are you trying to tell me something here babe?” 

“No! Of course not! It’s just a great song,” I smiled back at him.

“Oh! Okay then... good!” He sighed. “I got a surprise for you tomorrow.” He smiled. I groaned as I unplugged the guitar and put it back on its stand.

“You know I hate surprises!” I groaned.

“Yeah, but tomorrow should be an exception. ‘Cause it’s your birthday and everything.” He replied smiling.

“I don’t care if it’s my birthday! I don’t like surprises!”

“Jack, Zack and Rian all know what it is,” he grinned evilly.

I gave him the evils and then headed towards him at the doorway. He let me through the door and up a few steps before he closed and locked the basement door and proceeded up the stairs. Zack and Rian were still upstairs in Jack’s room and after getting a bin for Jack, Alex and I joined the others in Jack’s room.

Alex held the door to Jack’s room open for me to enter. When Jack was aware I was in the room he held out the empty ice-cream tub and then Rian, Zack and Alex started chanting.

“Chuck it! Chuck it!” Jack threw the tub and it landed in the bin. They laughed for a while. Then Jack pointed to the bucket on the floor.

“Don’t need it anymore. I feel fine now.” He said. I picked it up and then went back downstairs. I was guessing that they were going to discuss my surprise as they only started talking once I had left the room. After putting back the bin and putting down the bucket I returned to Jack’s room. 

“Do I have to stay in my room tomorrow?” Jack asked.

“Nope, well if you feel better then no.” I answered. 

After a while of discussing the UK tour, Zack, Rian, Alex and I left the room. 

“Hey! Where are you guys going?” Jack asked sadly.

“To watch a film downstairs.” Zack replied. Jack looked like a wounded animal. After a while of him staring into everyone’s eyes I finally said that he could come too. He leapt out of bed and jumped to the door. We thundered down the stairs and into the living room.

“Hey guys, when are we seeing The Women In Black? It looks pretty cool,” asked Jack.

“Um.. I don’t know... Saturday maybe?” Rian said. We all nodded in agreement. 

We watched The Hangover, Jackass’s 1,2&3 and all episodes of Viva La Bam and Wildboyz before going to bed. Alex and I were the last ones to go upstairs. I got into my pyjamas and then went into our bathroom to take off my make-up. When I entered I, Alex was having a shower. I pulled open the shower curtain and poked his butt then quickly went back to taking off my make-up.

“Hey!” He opened the curtain and smiled at me. He turned off the shower and grabbed his towel. He wrapped it around his waist. I grabbed his sweatpants and threw them to him.

“Thanks,” he smiled and then kissed me. 

After Alex was dressed and I had taken off my make-up, we got into bed. 

“Alex?” 

“Yeah?” He replied gazing into my eyes.

“Will you sing me to sleep tonight?” I asked him, putting my head on his chest.

“Of course I will baby girl. How about Too Much followed by Therapy and finally Lullabies?” He asked. I nodded and he began to sing softly.

“I admit I miss seeing your face babe. And being alone is starting to take it’s toll, I’m cold and its getting old...” His sweet voice, it lulled me to sleep. My own personal lullaby. I love him so much. The last I remember of that day was his sweet voice singing me to sleep. The last words I remember were from Lullabies.

“Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye. It could be for the last time and it’s not right. Don’t let yourself get in over yourself he said. Alone and far from home I’ll find you, dead. Like a candle you burned out, spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words. Scream to be heard, like you needed anymore attention. Throw the bottle, break the door and disappear. Sing me to sleep. I’ll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, I miss you I’m so sorry.”