Soldier Boy (Avengers/Winter Solider Fanfic)

Eleven

When Bucky stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, sleep deprived and with an aching hand he noticed a change in the setting. The smell of coffee was still permeating the air and Melody was already offering him a cup of it, same as always, but today Sharon Carter had joined them.

"Agent Carter," Bucky commented taking a careful sip of coffee. "What are you doing here?"

"Besides making sure Mel eats actual food?"

The doctor's gaze narrowed. "What do you call coffee then?"

"Important," Sharon replied. "But not a replacement for actual nutrients." She handed the doctor a small brown paper bag. "There is a muffin in here and I expect it-."

There was a subtle beeping that interrupted the agent's sentence and Doctor Frasier pulled out her pager.

"Shit, hate to eat and run, gotta go!" And she hurried out the door, forgetting the pastry bag Sharon had tried to give her.

"Mel!" The agent called after her friend but the roar of the car engine covered up the sound of her voice. "Ugh!" She groaned at the retreating cloud of dust. "She had better eat lunch today!"

Bucky frowned. "She skips lunch?" Bucky had never seen her eat breakfast either, so if what Sharon said was true, the doctor had very unhealthy eating habits.

Sharon shrugged. "Not intentionally, she just forgets."

"How can you forget to eat?" Bucky was familiar with hunger, his first few weeks running had left him well-aquatinted with the gnawing, empty feeling. Hydra had done many terrible things to him, but starvation wasn't one. They needed him to be strong.

Sharon shrugged. "Mel has a one-track mind. Whatever she's focused on, she'll give it everything she has. And by extension, ignore everything else around her. It's good for when she's elbow deep into people's bodies but not for personal care."

Bucky didn't know how to respond to that so he drank more coffee. He hasn't slept last night either. His nightmares had left him waking up covered in cold sweat and screaming.  The noise had brought Doctor Frasier to him with her usual question of "are you alive". The question still irked him.  He hadn't slept well after that, and he felt it now in his itchy eyes and heavy limbs. Coffee helped with that and thankfully, Doctor Frasier's kitchen was never short of it.

"Why are you here?" He asked finally, draining the last of the bitter black liquid. "Did Doctor Fraiser-?"

"Mel," Sharon corrected. "Call her Mel, everyone does. She needs to be Mel here, she's Doctor Frasier all day long."

"Fine, Mel," Bucky amended. Why she went by that name he couldn't guess, it sounded ugly to him. "Did she ask you to come here?"

Sharon shook her head. "No, I came here on my own.  Last time we talked she seemed upset with you."

Bucky's hands curled into fists. "I never touched her." He was a lot of things, but he wasn't mindless. Not anymore and he'd never hurt anyone unless they tried to hurt him first. Doctor Frasier, pushy as she was, had never attempted to harm him and so, he had no reason to hurt her.

"I know, but you were being an ass and you need to stop it. You're being ungrateful considering how much she's risking for you." 

Bucky flexed his wounded hand. He recalled the steely look in Mel's eyes the night before. The same one Steve got when he got behind a cause that mattered to him. "I don't mean to be rude," he said finally. "I'm not stupid. I know what she's risking to help me. It's just..."

He trailed off, trying to find the right words as Sharon's disapproving gaze burned into him. Strange as it was, Bucky wanted the agent to approve of him. She was his only link to his best friend.  In some odd way, he felt like if Sharon could find him to be a decent person, maybe Steve could too if they ever saw one another again.