Soldier Boy (Avengers/Winter Solider Fanfic)

Thirty-Seven

Bucky sat up at the kitchen island. A plate of eggs was in front of him but they'd gone stone cold by now. He couldn't eat, his mind was too busy to register something like hunger. He was still trying to process just what had happened before the hospital had called Melody away. Well, aside from his developing hatred of cell phones and pagers. Those damn things always seemed to go off at the worse possible times.

How did I wind up here? He wondered as he cast his memory back through the day. He'd started the afternoon watching a film with Melody, innocent enough, even when she moved closer during an intense scene but the moment the credits rolled, the innocent lounging had turned into a kiss that set of a chain reaction. Their simple embrace had become desperate, as they clung to one another and words faded out because they were no longer needed to convey meaning. Everything they needed to say they could say with their bodies and they had.

"If I'm with you, then I have nothing to fear."  Her voice echoed again, and Bucky felt the ghost of her lips against his. He'd never had some equate him with safety before, at least not after Hydra. And yet she did. Somehow, Melody felt safe with the Winter Solider. Though some might have called it unbelievable, Bucky believed her when she said that. She'd shown him the truth as she held his hand, a metal killing tool and guided it across her naked body. She'd trusted he wouldn't hurt her. The kiss she'd pressed against his shoulder where flesh and steel met. She hadn't been afraid. She'd embraced it, embraced him wholeheartedly and without even a slight hesitation.Bucky knew the senors in the arm couldn't detect much, but in those moments, he thought maybe, irrational as it was that Melody might have been the exception to the rule.

Even afterwards, when the overwhelming lust had been sated, just laying next to her and holding her had been more intimate than sex. Feeling her skin against his, talking to one another even about something as unimportant as being ticklish or a former smoking habit had been incredibly relaxing and something that just made Bucky feel...well more human than he had in decades.  It had been perfect or as close as possible to perfect as anything could be and then the moment had shattered as the real world interrupted them. 

Is that why she ran out so fast?  Bucky wondered. Because she realized how much more complicated this made our situation?  That could have been it but he wasn't sure.  Melody always left quickly when the hospital called. She loved being a doctor, she loved being a surgeon-it was her redemption. Her way to atone for murder (which Bucky still felt was a service to the world than a crime) and to distance herself from an emotionless state of mind that terrified her.  He sighed and grabbed his plate and scraped the cold food into the garbage-he couldn't eat cold eggs. He then turned on the sink, ready to wash up the dishes but the slamming of a door stopped him short. Instantly, his hand slid towards the gun at his hip and cautiously called, "Melody? Is that you?"

"Yeah," she said appearing in the kitchen and setting her purse and keys on the island.

"You're back early." he commented. "I thought for sure you'd pick up a shift in the ER."

"I did start in the ER," she answered, an edge in her tone. "And I managed to get suspended."

"Suspended?" Bucky repeated, unable to believe it. "What? How did that?"

"I apparently lacked professionalism when dealing with a patient's mother," Melody spat, shoving herself away from the counter and stomping towards the fridge. "Because apparently her feelings were far more important than the truth."

"What happened?" Bucky asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It doesn't even matter," she said even as she slammed a jug of milk onto the counter as though it had personally wronged her.