Soldier Boy (Avengers/Winter Solider Fanfic)

Forty-Two

If it had been any other point in her life, a suspension from her job would've left Melody completely miserable. West Memorial Hospital had been her first real home. A place where she fit in, or at least came as close as possible to fitting in when she carried as many secrets as she did. And being apart from it would have let her feeling gutted. But now, even though she was suspended from her job (the length of time she did not yet know) she was not feeling the least bit sorrowful or dejected-her heart was too full for such feelings. Rather than miss her job, she relished in the one positive aspect that came with being away from it-she got to be with James.

From the moment she'd gotten home, after her tidal wave of anger and pain had subsided, she'd realized that her unpaid suspension wasn't going to be that bad. As she'd realized his plan, to take her away from her former prison, whatever negative thoughts she'd had about her suspension had been snuffed out and replaced with a much happier, warmer feeling. Love. Or at least she was pretty sure that's what the feeling was. Melody hadn't been lying when she'd told James that she wasn't entirely sure what that was supposed to feel like. But she thought it was like this, she hoped it was like this. She'd never felt anything so wonderful in her life. The warmth that glowed inside her when she was just near him and they were talking. How her favorite place to sleep was no longer her bed as it had been for thirty years, but James's arms. The fact that even though she was back at her parent's house, she was able to smile and do so quite easily. If it had been six months ago, Melody would've thought such a thing was impossible.

And yet it's not, she thought to herself, rolling over onto her side to look at James. Early as the hour was, three in the morning according to the clock at her beside, he was fast asleep and snoring, his strong features the picture of ease. Melody smiled to herself and carefully reached out, brushing some of his hair away to get a better look at his face. Over the last two nights, he had not dreamed. A fact which at first, had gone unnoticed by Melody and James, laughing at pointed it out to her as they'd climbed into the cab of the truck, hurriedly pulling on their clothes as rain poured overhead.

Now, however, Melody had made it more a point to notice the changes in his sleeping patterns and recently, they'd been quite different. No more restless tossing and turning, grumbling incoherently and bolting upright, covered in cold sweat and screaming which had often been his pattern for the last five months.  The change was nice and afforded her more chances to watch him until she herself drifted off. Frankly though, she was having a harder time of it as of late. Her body was so used to working forty-eight hours shifts and sneaking sleep during that time, that falling asleep on a more normal timetable was an adjustment her internal clock had not yet made-which was why she was wide awake now. She sighed, watching the steady rise and fall of James's muscular chest-a view which was incredibly pleasing on a personal level as well as a scientific one, carefully, she let her fingers graze lightly over his chest, naming off the muscles in her mind.

Pectoralis major, pectoralis minor, deltoid,  bicep-! Her anatomy review was cut short as James stirred and Melody drew back her hand fast, as though she'd been burned. He blinked several times and then his intense blue eyes focused on her. "Are you alive?" The words tumbled off her lips before Melody had a chance to even think about them. Not all nightmares were ones that left someone screaming-she knew that all too well. Sometimes you were able to escape them before it reached that point and just had to recollect yourself as you tried to figure out what happened. That pattern was one she experienced most often herself. 

James gave her a tired smile, his teeth stark white against the dark stubble on his face. "I wasn't dreaming."

Melody released the breath she hadn't known she was holding and settled back onto her side, the mattress sinking under her weight. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."