Assisting Miss Adams (GirlxGirl) NEW VERSION

Fifteen

Why had I agreed to this? After everything I had gone through and the years I had avoided my childhood home, here I was riding passenger next to Shawn on Thanksgiving morning.

My hands shook in my lap while I gazed out the window. I was trying to picture what I would be walking into but after two years I was stumped. Would the living room look different? Was my old bedroom still there like I had never left? Were mom and dad even expecting me to show?

The more I thought about it the harder it became not to open my door and hurl myself into the road. So far my week-long break had been quiet, and now I was about ten minutes from disrupting the calm.

"Megan told me she found an apartment," Shawn said, breaking the silence.

I tried not to let him see my face. "Oh really? That's good."

"I guess so, but it seems a bit sudden."

I played dumb. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she went from not being able to pay any bills to moving out in a week." He paused and looked at me. "Would you have any idea why?"

I refused to look at him. "Beats me. Maybe she just needs more space."

More space from me, I thought. Guilt threatened to spill from my mouth. I swallowed it.

Shawn pulled up into the driveway of my old home. I felt my skin burning. My hands were shaking more than ever. The pounding in my chest was so loud I was sure Shawn could hear it. I made no sudden movement to leave the safety of his car.

For a moment I studied the house in silence. They had painted the door. It used to be red, the same color as the shutters. Now it was white. The swing on the porch was gone too. I wondered when they had decided to take it down. Dad and I used to talk a lot on that swing.

"Hey." Shawn's hand landed on my shoulder. "It's gonna be okay. I'm here. Mom and dad will be happy to see you."

I just gave a small nod before following him to the front door. When he knocked I felt bile rise up my throat. After two entire years of not even speaking to my parents, I was about to come face to face with them.

I heard the door knob jiggle and all the air in my lungs left.

Dad came into view first. I couldn't help but think he looked grayer than the last time I had seen him. He had always been rough around the edges, but there was a sadness in his eyes that made him look older.

It took him a minute to realize that it was actually me standing on his front porch. Then he walked outside and embraced me without a word.

Usually my body fought against hugs, or any type of embrace really. It was almost instinct. Yet, with dad's arms wrapped around my shoulders I don't think I could've fought it even if I wanted to. It was warm and gentle. Something I hadn't experienced in a long time, especially from my own father.

"Sam..." he spoke, his voice cracking. I didn't know what to do.

"Hey dad," was all I was able to mutter.

That's when mom emerged from the house, coming to see what was taking dad so long at the front door. Her eyes caught mine and the world seemed to stop. Dad pulled away and suddenly I felt exposed. Cold as stone.

My body was automatically on defense. But mom stepped closer, the same sadness in her eyes as dad. Except she didn't move in for a hug. She just stood there, looking at me and taking it all in. She recognized me right? I hadn't changed that much in two years. Although I probably looked a lot healthier than when I had left.