Lie #3: i won't hurt you again
it was our typically Thursday night. you came home from work. but one thing was different.
you smelled of alcohol.
so i decided to confront you about it.
"i should've expected this. you never planned on quitting," i yelled at you. i didn't care if the neighbors heard.
frankly, i didn't care if anyone heard.
"shut the fuck up ashton," you slurred. "you don't tell me what to do".
"i just want to help you," i said, terrified. your voice was so loud and booming. i've never seen this side of you before.
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" you repeated to me.
it wasn't your choice of words that scared me. it was how close you got to me . it was how close your first was to my face when you hit the wall.
then it happened.
you punched me in my stomach.
then you punched me in the face.
and when i was down on the ground, you kicked me until i started coughing up blood.
i fell asleep that night on the cold wooden floor while you laid peacefully in our bed.
i wondered why i deserved that.
and i told myself maybe if i was a little more understanding that wouldn't have happened.
luke, i blamed myself for something that was out of my control.
you did that to me.
you made me believe that it was my fault that i was your punching bag
so the next morning, you wake up and give me kisses everywhere. you apologize and tell me that it will never happen again.
and i allowed you to kiss me because your lips felt so good against my bruised, cut skin.
next few days, you were back at it again. only that time, i ended up in the hospital.
