Crow. | Angeless [C]

Chapter 41 | Fantasy and Reality

          Kuza's starting to worry me. He doesn't leave his room at all. I haven't seen him eat or shower in days. At least I know he's alive in there, but he's starting to smell like death. Chris is concerning me just as much though. He refused to drink blood, even when Ryan brought him someone to drink from. Of all the people in the house to be bothered by recent events, I wouldn't have thought it to be my husband. He hated Croc and he was pretty adamant that his past wouldn't effect him anymore. Maybe it's just residual feelings from Vinny's death, but something tells me that's not it.

          I've seen him read that letter over and over several times. I'd support him no matter which way he went with this. If he wants to go to that event, we will. If he wants to run again, I'll pack my bags. If he wants to stay right here and let the world come for us, I'll stand right beside him. That's what I promised him when we first fell in love and I'm not going to change my mind. We're in this for the long haul. I'm just worried where it'll all lead us.

          Chris barely touched his food at dinner. Vampires don't need to eat food really, but I was hoping he would get even the littlest bit of blood from the steak. I made sure to keep it pretty raw. He did take a few bites, which is probably more than what Kuza's got down recently. I made a small plate for him and let myself into his room. I highly doubt he would've answered if I knocked. 

          "I'm sorry to just barge in like this," I softly said as I set the plate down on his nightstand, "But I didn't want to knock in case you were sleeping."

          Kuza sat up slowly, "Thank you... I wasn't sleeping, just... laying down."

          "I know it doesn't feel like it now, but I promise, everything will be okay." I tried my best to reassure him. It's in my nature, as an angel, but the crow in me is beginning to doubt how much words really mean. I've learned it's not what someone says to you; It's who says it to you that matters.

          He pulled on his hair nervously. "Ange... I... I've heard that if you ask an angel to keep a secret, they will. Like, they physically can't tell anyone even if they wanted to... Is that true?"

          I gently sat down on the edge of his bed. It was rather high up, considering Croc had bought it for the both of them. What he said was something I've actually not thought about in a long time. Angels have a lot of abilities that I don't. It had nothing to do with me becoming a crow though. Hallow Hex, if it doesn't kill you, will take away most your abilities. I've lost my ability to cloak my wings and my immunity to temperatures. I had no clue if I'd lost my ability to be bound by oath. 

          "It is, but I don't know if I have that anymore. I'd still keep your secrets regardless, if you needed me to."

          He gave a short nod, "Um, just... Promise me you won't tell anyone else this? I don't want them thinking I've lost my damn mind or something." Kuza numbly chuckled.

          "I promise, I won't tell a soul." I replied.

          "Well, um... I..." He reached his hand around to the back of his neck, "The mark on the back of my neck, I can feel Croc's spirit because of it. As long as this is burned into my skin, I'm never alone. I can still feel him... I... I don't think he's dead."

          It was hard for me to know what to say. I didn't want to feed him false hope but I also didn't want to be an asshole about it. Deacon didn't strike me as the person who would deliver news he's unsure of. At the same time, Kuza seemed so certain of it. I don't know how brandings work. I'm assuming they're similar to binding chains in that they lose their power if one partner dies. 

          "Oh, Honey..." I sighed, "I really hope that could be true, but I don't want you to get too hopeful."

          "You think I'm delusional, don't you?" Kuza sat forward on his knees, his eyes full of pity.