It's not over yet.

Chapter One.

September 7th 2013

Dear Diary,

I’m really scared to start high school in a new town. Freshman year, big, out there, wow. New beginnings and most of all a fresh start. I hope people will accept me for who I am not on their own personal thoughts. This is a big challenge for me let’s just hope I can make it through alive. Love,

Joan

“Joey! It’s time to go! You don’t want to be late for your first day of school do you?” I hear my mother hollar from the bottom of the stairs. I set down my diary on my side table and walked across my room to my mirror.

I take one long look. I’m wearing the perfect first day outfit yellow top laced dress that comes down to my knees. Deep brown leggings tucked into my tan UGG boots. My long brown hair curled into uniform curls. My bangs swept to the side with a yellow flower clip. I had topped off my look with eyeliner, mascara and a sheer rose lipgloss, which I have stashed in my purse.

“Coming Mam!” I yell as I grab my backpack, sling it over one shoulder and grab my brown over coat. I walk out of my bedroom door and walk down the stairs.

“I can’t believe my baby is already in High School.” my teary eyed mother says looking me up and down. “They grow up so fast” She wipes her cheeks and smiles. “Come on time to go.”

We walk out of the door and get into our big red Ford F150 1998 extended cab dually. Mom slowly backs down our long gravel driveway and out onto the dirt road.         

I turn on the radio to my favorite station and just sit and listen. My mind is full of thoughts and worry. My favorite song comes on. “Live While We're Young by One Direction” I start to remember when my best friend Kate and I would dance and sing to this song for hours. Gosh I miss her.

Kate and I have been friends since the 4th grade when she moved to Luther from Washington. She stands about 4 foot 3 not very tall. Most people would call her shorty or small stack, but I called her Keke. She would always yell at me and say she’s not a cat but she didn’t complain much. It was our little thing, don’t ask me why or how but she would always call me Mo. We were known as Keke and Mo. She had shoulder length dirty blonde hair with bright blue eyes and bangs always swept to the side just like mine.

Her and I were like two peas in a pod. We did everything together, just like the normal American Teenage girl best friends. We were never known as part of the ‘’popular’’ crowd. But when it came down to it, that really didn’t matter as long as we had each other. This summer torn us in mid July when we found out I was being packed up and sent halfway across the United States from Michigan to Nevada. It felt like someone had ripped my heart into a million peices and started throwing them around like confetti.

Just thinking about her a tear started rolling down my cheek, hot burning stinging, full of heart broken emotions. We entered the city limits of Greens Burrow and I look at my mom. “Hey Mom?” I ask in a very saddened voice on the edge of crying.

She looked at me with eyes full of concern and a motherly warmth, “Yes dear?”

I slouch down in my seat. “Why? Why did we have to move halfway across the country from our friends and family? Wasn’t our family good enough there? Are you running away from what happened to Dad?” My cheeks were burning and my eyes started to sting.

“Joan, I’ve told you time and time again. This is for the best. There are new opportunities for us here, a new start, you’ve always said how the girls would pick on you. The girls here don’t know you, you can make new friends. Just trust me, you’re going to love it here, you just need a little time. You haven’t even given it a chance.” She says softly placing a hand on my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze in a comforting way.

I thought to myself for a moment. Sure, Luther was getting old and the girls were total bitches to me. I hated it when I was living there but now that I’m gone and away from it all, I have realized that’s where I truly belong. I’ve grown up there, I knew every little nook and cranny of that little town. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. It was a small little town, perfect for our small little family. My other half was there, I left Kate when she needed me most. “But mom.” I snap anger building inside of me. “There will never be another Kate. What her and I had was special. Something that no one on this Earth could ever match or compare to! She was one of a kind! I could never think of replacing her!” I scream sharply at her. The anger inside me was building bigger and bigger. I needed to calm down before I got to the school or people will look at me weird.

Mom let out a great sigh. “I know it’s hard honey, but you are a strong girl. You’re my back bone and I know you can handle this. It’s like a hurdle in the path of life and we are going to have to work together to get past it. You’re not alone on this.” Her voice trailed off. “I’ll tell you what. If you make it through this year with an effort to have fun here yet you completely hate it, I will move us back to Michigan and we will never have to live here again. I just need you to give this place a chance. I know you can do it.” She finishes as we near the school. My nerves start rolling and the butterflies in my stomach turned into wild monkeys stirring it up.

It sure is big, I think to myself as we arrive and mom pulls the truck into the drive of Central High. There are people everywhere, students greeting their friends after a long summer. Hugs, laughs, smiles everywhere. The few of the slack off students moping their way into the building half asleep. “Here goes nothing” I say in a sarcastically optimistic voice and I grab my things and step out of the truck. “Love you mom.” As I go to walk away she grabs my arm.

“Love you too sweety. Don’t forget, try to have fun.” She says and lets go of my arm I turn to walk away and she yells to me, “Don’t forget about cheer tryouts after school today!”