Forgiveness and Sacrifice (Sherlock's Daughter)

Unconditional love

"Be strong" - a phrase that's easy to say but hard to do when you're broken.
And I don't want to be broken, not anymore I've had enough. I thought the way to do that was to die but I had it wrong. If I die now, I die broken and broken I'll remain.
I've lived in bitterness and hatred for long enough to know its a prison. I also know I'll never have peace if I don't forgive. So I've made a decision.
One deep breath in, one deep breath out. I step slowly, steadily up to the door. Three quick knocks. Mum opens the door. Her face is a picture of shock. She opens the door cautiously and motions me in.
"You've heard the news, I suppose?" She questions.
"Of what you've done? Yes."
"No, I meant the other news."
"What?"
"Sherlock didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
She purses her lips.
"If he didn't tell you, then why do you even want to see me?"
"You're my mum."
"I've killed seven people... almost eight."
"I forgive you."
Mum falls to her knees and weeps. I kneel next to her and hold her in my arms. We stay like this for a long time.
"How can you forgive me? I didn't even say sorry." She sobs.
"What've you done I'm not okay with. It saddens me every time I try to understand why you did it. But there's nothing you can do mum to make me love you anymore or any less. I don't like what you did but I forgive you."

This is only makes her cry harder.

"How can you? All your life I've made difficult. It's my fault you ended up in that hospital and Sherlock says it hasn't been the only time. You have lost so much and yet you willingly give me forgiveness. I am sorry but I know my apology is nothing. I want you to know that, in the end, I realised revenge wasn't enough but it was too late and I will never forgive myself. I hated Sherlock for what he did to me, his experiment. Moriarty offered so much torment for him and I would do anything for it. Revenge wasn't enough, it only made me sadder. I will never forgive myself."
"You must. If you don't forgive yourself than you are rejecting my forgiveness."
"I don't understand how you can forgive me."
"I love you mum."
"I love you too, so much, so so much."