When Life Sends You an Angel

Ringing in a year together! (26.12.16)

"How did it get so late so soon?

Its night before its afternoon

December is here before its June

My goodness how the time has flewn

How did it get so late so soon?"

I did not write any blog after that and faced some of the worst days of my life....I cried a little too often and then I took a major step and perhaps the best one of my life....

After a month of our breakup I said a yes to Atharva. Why did I do that? A lot of reasons and the most prominent one being that I didn't wanna have any regrets in life, I'd kept myself in a delusion that I didn't love you anymore and cursed you so much just so that I could get over you but it wasn't that simple, this delusion prompted me to take such a step which actually choked me for the next 2 months because from the very beginning I knew I didn't love him, I'd thought that very soon I shall fall in love but it had been 2 months and I hadn't, I still loved you and it killed me to realise that I was faking a relationship, I never was such a person, circumstaces and situations made me such a person and I hated myself for this. At once I'd totally given up that I'd anytime fall in love with him because getting over you was the hardest task of my life because after 26th December I hadn't imagined life without you, every dream of mine had you in it and it was alomost impossible for us to part in my imagination but it didn't take seconds for that bubble to burst and it hurt and you know we face trauma when our things just don't go how we wished, that's exactly what happened to me and it oom me 2 months to get over you but I still do feel at times I'm not over, till some time back it was a costant thought but now its just limited to a mood swing of mine and that's how I've progressed. I know people had say-then that wasn't true love but people don't know our story, at least mine, I spent hours and hours crying figuring what I did wrong to deserve this and I don't think I need to prove my love for you, you'd always have a soft corner in my heart be it 5 years later or 50 years later.

I'm surrounded by nostalgia as I write this because it feels its been moments to that minute I held you close and confessed I love you, maybe a little part of me had still say that but I'm happier right now in life. I do think at times that I'd be even happier with you but he has given me 10 times more the happiness you did, you made me cry more than happy and he has only kept me happy and strived for it, I still am guilty that I had to fake my relationship for 3 months but I think everything happens for a reason and I hope things stay this way until we meet again....I only wish for you to be happy. And I want you to know that you'll always have my back and that I'll always miss you even if you don't, you mean more than just my first boyfriend to me and I'd always have a soft corner for you.

I wrote a blog for you this time because one years anniversaries are so special- trueteenlove.blogspot.com

I wouldn't say it is the last chapter of my story because I don't know when I'd like to again write to you (Bhagyesh) but for now I do know it is perhaps the last and it has only left me with the question- "Were you the angel I talked about in the title or was it Atharva?"