Pregnant By A Gangster

Ch.11 Confused

JOVANNY'S POV.

My head is on maximum over-load right now. I can't be a father. Not now. I mean I know I'm 22 but, I figured me and Chanelle would just be together for a while and eventually get married THEN have kids. But now I have to get married to her. But i don't don't want the kids she does. Seriously, fuck my life right now.

I lay on my bed with my hands over my face when there's a knock at the door. "honey" it's my mom. "Chanelle just left" she says as she closes the door behind  her. "I don't care" I mumble. "Jovanny, you need to stop being like this" she says. "mom, I don't those babies I can't take care of them" I tell her a s i sit up.

"well you should've though about that before you got her pregnant" she says. "now you're gonna take her side??" I ask. "no I'm not I'm going with what I think is sensible, she is 17 and pregnant with 2 babies and she's scared and you've been nothing but rude and selfish to her" she says. I sigh.

"trust me Jovanny, I was in the same spot, you already know I got pregnant when I was 16, and I had complete support from your father and I was still scared out of my ass, do you really not want to be with Chanelle?" she asks. I look at her. "cause I can talk to your father and, you both can marry somebody else" she says.

I don't want somebody else to have Chanelle. "I don't know mom, I just, need to think about things by myself" I tell her. "I hope you make the right choice" she says as she gets up and leaves. I have no idea what to do. Can I really be a father to these kids? They shouldn't have a dad like me.

Someone who constantly leaves, does, bad things. Am I the only one that realizes if I father these kids they'll be in danger themselves? I already have to worry about Chanelle. And what if I have end up going to jail for something? Something that puts me into jail for 1 year, 2 years, 3 or more?

I can't do that to Chanelle and her babies. She deserves a lot more and better than a piece of shit like me. I decide to call my best friend Giuseppe but he hates that name so we all call him Jay, for some advice since he's 3 years older than me and already has a 3 year old son. But he isn't with his mom.

"hello?" he answers. "hey man what's up?" I ask him. "nothing much what's up with you you've been M.I.A. for like 2 days" he tells me. "I know, look, you know that girl I've been talking to? The one I told you about?" I tell him. "yeah Costello's daughter what about her?" he asks. I pause.

"she's pregnant" I reply. "what?!" he says in shock. "yeah and it's twins and they're mine" I tell him in a disappointed tone. "holy shit dude, but you haven't seen her in like a month?" he says suggesting them possibly not being mine.

"I know but the day we left for that business shit we had sex the day before" I tell him. "damn and you didn't use a condom or what?" he asks. "no we, didn't" I say with a sigh. "damn that fucking sucks what are you gonna do?" he asks still in shock.

"I don't fucking know that's why I called you, for, some advice or something, Chanelle already told me she's keeping them but, I don't know if I want them or not" I say. "dude, you gotta make up your mind trust me, if you really want Chanelle, you have to really want those kids, cause now, she's a package deal" he says with a small laugh. I stand up and pace around my room.

"I know, I know, but, what if I can't be a good dad? I just do not feel ready to be a dad and have this responsibility" I tell him. "no man is EVER ready to be a dad, I thought I wasn't ready to be a dad to Mason, and you know what, even though I'm not with Gina, I don't regret him at all cause he's the most good thing in my life" he tells me.

"but that's what I'm worried about is regret" I say with a sigh. "look, give yourself like a month or so to think about it, if you really don't want them, drop your rights, she'll get a lawyer, you get a lawyer, and drop your rights to those kids and legally, they won't be yours anymore" he suggests. I suck in my lips and rub my head. "alright man, I gotta go but thanks" I tell him. "no problem" he says then hangs up. Now I have to make a choice.