Embrace the Suck (Bad, #1)

Chapter Thirteen

He's not there.

It's been two days since the day at the café. Regardless of the subtle rejection that Saint had inflicted, I still hoped that I'd see him at the court during my morning routines... I didn't.

On the third day, I lost hope and gave up. Hindi na ako dumadaan sa court, hindi dahil takot ako na makita siya kundi takot ako sa sakit na mararamdaman ko sa oras na hindi ko na naman siya makita.

It'd hurt because I wouldn't be able to stop myself from thinking that he's really avoiding me. God knows I've been trying to keep those toxic thoughts out of my mind since day one.

Ilang beses ko pinaulit-ulit ang mga nangyari sa umagang iyon. Pilit kong inusisa kung may nagawa ba akong masama at hindi niya nagustuhan.

Was I too aggressive? Hindi ba ganoon ang tipo niya? Should I have acted hard to get rather than coming on him too strong? Dapat bang naging mysterious ako at hindi transparent at straight forward? What? What's his type?

I faintly remember what Nina said. That Saint isn't one to commit. He likes to play.

Did I make him feel like I wanted a commitment from him after one breakfast together? Naramdaman niya kaya na interesado ako sa kanya? Na... parang... may kaunting gusto na ako sa kanya?

My brain was tortured for two days, going three, because of these thoughts. Pakiramdam ko ay mababaliw ako. I've never spent so much time thinking about a guy before. Nababaliw na nga yata ako.

I tried to divert my attention to other things... like study, sketching, gym, and my mini-workshop at home. Minsan ay nagtatagumpay ako sa paglibang sa sarili pero madalas ay nagagawa niya pa rin sumingit sa utak ko. He won't get out of my mind and I'm beginning to like the idea of keeping him.

Today is gym day. Walang pasok kaya iaalay ko ang buong umaga para sa gym. Kagaya ng nakagawian ay iniwan ko si Shadow sa daycare.

I was greeted by the staff who's at the front desk, si Eunice. I've been a member here for almost a year, kaya bukod sa trainer ko ay kilala ko na rin ang ibang employees.

My workouts are usually intense, since I only go to the gym twice a week. Today, my routines will focus on my legs, butt, and calves.

"You're here early," Nolan, my personal trainer, said as soon as he saw me.

"Woke up before my alarm clock did," I smilingly said with a shrug.

"Okay. Get settled and then do the warm up exercise first. Add more reps on dynamic stretches," sabi nito na sinagot ko na lang ng tango.

Itinago ko muna ang bag na dala sa locker room. I just brought my tumbler and face towel with me. I went to the mat where I usually do my routines and began with the different sets of warm up exercise.

"Ready?" Nolan asked as soon as he came back.

"Yup." I nodded.

"Okay, start with warm up for barbell deadlifts. Do you wanna run or alternate between rowing and jump ropes?"

"Rowing and jump ropes," sagot ko para maiba naman.

As soon as I started with my program, I zoned out. Every set, Nolan will make me rest for nearly one minute. Ganoon naman parati. He'd let me rest for two minutes between exercises, too. That's because I'm here to get toned, not burn calories or get ripped.

Nang matapos na ako ay pinag-cool down na ako ni Nolan. I just do stretching exercises at this part, kaya iniwan na ako ni Nolan.

Nakatingin lang ako sa salamin, tinitingnan ang sariling reflection habang binibilang ang segundo. Quad stretch, kaya naka-bend ang tuhod ko at hawak-hawak ko ang paa mula sa likod.