Embarrassing Stories

Another Horrifying Poop Story

Story found AGAIN on reddit.

I was 15 and I was at Sam's Club with my parents. I was in the video game section playing some demo on a PS2. I felt like I needed to fart, so I pushed a little. It felt like I had let a silent one out, because I didn't hear it, and it smelled terrible about 2 seconds afterwards, per usual. About 30 seconds later, the smell is still lingering and I was just proud that I had caused that much damage to the air.

My sister [7] comes up to me and asks where I got the chocolate milk, and how I spilled it on my leg. I look down, there's liquid feces on my right leg (was wearing blue Nike shorts and boxers.) I'm terrified. I have poo on my leg. I casually walk to the bathroom.

Here comes the embarrassing part: I'm in the stall, cleaning up my leg, trying to figure out what the hell to do with my boxers, which are covered in poo water. I can't keep them - the car will smell on the ride home. I can't leave them in the stall - there were people waiting. I had to flush them. Well - apparently boxers don't flush well. Toilet backed up, flooding the entire stall and spreading to the rest of the bathroom. I'm freaking out, but I'm clean - I got most of the poo off my leg. A janitor has entered the restroom, and I exit the offending stall. He asks what happened, and I can't speak. I should have, because the boxers were still in the toilet - clearly visible. I just casually walk out.

MEANWHILE... my parents were ready to leave, and couldn't find me. They aren't super hover parents, but they got worried, because I wasn't in the video game section, or the candy section. This ordeal was going on 10ish minutes long. Apparently my sister told them that I walked towards the bathroom with an older man. So, my parents are assuming the worst, and get the security and management involved.

Back to the bathroom. I'm trying to walk out, the janitor finds the boxers and is all huffy-puffy. The manager is walking down the hallway towards the bathroom to try and handle the "missing child with old man" situation. I'm trying to leave the bathroom to handle the "holy shit, I just poo'd my pants and clogged the toiled with my boxers" situation.

Manager stops me, asks me if I was in any type of "situation" and I don't know how to answer. I tell him "there was an incident in the restroom." He takes that as something happened to me with "the old man" I was apparently stolen by. He radios the security to contact the police and to have them head towards the restrooms. I freak out - I didn't think flushing my underwear warranted the police getting involved. My parents get to me - ask if I'm "OK." I'm too embarrassed to tell them what happened (still without knowing what their perception of the matter was.) I said "I'm fine." Security is rushing over, asking me if "he's still in there" I have no idea what they are talking about. They ask me what happened. There is a gathering of rubber-neckers - trying to see what is going on. I'm really confused why this is a huge deal. I confess. I tell them that I mud-butted down my leg, and tried to flush my underwear down the toilet, clogging it in the process.

The looks I got... Worst part was, the police were there in like 5 minutes, and I had to tell them exactly what happened to me. After the "seriousness" of the situation wore off and everyone realized I wasn't molested by an old man, many laughs were had at my expense.

My father to this day still brings this up - family gatherings, at my wedding, holidays...