Embarrassing Stories

Ice Cream Bitch Slap

From Reddit
Has cus words

My family always wants to tell the story about the fucking ice cream. Always the fucking ice cream. Every single girlfriend has to find out.

Edit: So here is the story I lovingly call; "The Ice Cream Bitch Slap"

Anyone who knows me knows that I come from the middle east. So I will often go there to visit my family and friends. This has been going on since a young age, it can get really boring in the middle east so my parents would consistently put me in these camps where I would play soccer and stuff.

I hopped from camp to camp usually doing something really dumb to stop them from letting me go to camp there. I have a whole bunch of stories if anyone cares. One year when I was about 7 and at camp. It was a particularly hot day, I was without money and about to die of thirst or starvation, I was laying on the soccer field when some older kids kicked me off so they could play.

I just started wandering aimlessly when I saw the little shop at the edge of the camp, and sure enough there was a fucking ice cream machine right out front. With nobody on guard.

So in my dehydrated, delusional state I decided I would have some of that fucking ice cream. I walk up to it and I just put my face against it for a few seconds, amazed by the relief.

I looked around and made sure no one was looking and just started to lean against the ice cream machine. Then I "accidentally" hit the lever causing it to spill out thick, creamy vanilla ice cream. Then I walked away.

Over the course of about thirty minutes I would walk by the shop, stop, and lick the mound of ice cream on the grate of the machine. Eventually the ice cream melted into the grate and was gone. But, I was still thristy so I pulled the lever again, this time into my hand.

Sure enough as soon as I was going to pull away from the machine some lady grabs my arm and starts yelling at me! So when she leaned her face towards mine to yell at me some more. I took my ice cream covered hand and basically slapped her across the face. She fell hard right on her ass and I took off running.