Nothing (A Cimorelli Story)

Chapter One

Chapter 1

Lisa's POV

It was monday morning and I was sitting in Dani's, Lauren's and my room staring at the empty white room because there was nothing else I could do. Usually there would be music playing or people talking. But it was all quiet. Every single song reminded me of Lauren and the memory just hurt too much.
Somehow all I could think about was that day when I ate pancakes with my friend. I thought about how happy I was because of the plans I had with my little sister that day.

My thoughts were interrupted when suddenly the doorbell rang. Immediately my heart started beating faster. It jumped up and down and I got nervous and excited at the same time. As fast as I could I ran down the stairs and opened the door.
Joey stood there smiling widely at me. His big brown eyes were wide open. He had the same big brown eyes as Lauren. "Where are Christian and Nick?" he asked.

"In the kitchen, I guess." I answered, trying my best to hide my disappointment in front of my youngest brother that I love so incredibly much. Joey ran into the kitchen and I closed the door and sat down on the stairs.

"Lisa, you knew she wouldn't just stand there, right?" Alex sat down besides me smiling sympathetically. I simply shrugged.

"You never know" I said.

"Maybe you should stop."

I looked down to my hands as sadness took over my whole body.

"So now you also gave up on her?" I asked. Shortly after she went missing our parents stopped believing that she would come home. They just gave up and I think they are cowards because of it. They are just too scared to believe.

"No. I didn't. I just think that your hope is not healthy for you."

"Who are you talking about?" Dani then asked while she went down the stairs. She cut her hair really short which is still unfamiliar for me.

"Lauren" Alex answered and somehow, I really liked how he pronounced her name. I liked that he didn't use a stupid pronoun that could stand for anyone.

Dani looked at us confused. "Who?" she again asked but she didn't wait for an answer. Instead she jumped down the last step and went into the kitchen where I was sure Katherine baked something.
That was their way to cope with the situation. Katherine stood the whole day in the kitchen baking everything she has the ingredients for and Dani pretended as if we never had another sister called Lauren. As if Lauren never existed.

And now Alex told me I wasn't healthy?

My brother sighed next to me. "I don't know what to do."

"Me neither."

Our family was falling apart. With every day that Lauren wasn't with us we seemed to be less us. Our parents were always at work starting early in the mornings and finishing after midnight. Sometimes they came home drunk. Sometimes they didn't even come home. Amy always went out with friends. I guess she wanted as much distraction as possible. Only the three little boys are still playing. But they are far from stupid. They know that there must be much wrong. They often ask where Lauren is.

Now that our parents aren't a big help Christina tried to be the mother. But at night I could hear her cry. Well and then there is Michael. He visits us more now but he didn't seem to be that much offended. I think it is just a mask on his face.

Please Lauren, just come home. I need you. We need you. It sounds like she just ran away but I know that it's not true. Lauren wouldn't just leave and not come back. She is a special person. Something really unique and wonderful. She is kindhearted, funny, helpful, nice and beautiful. She is a little shy and sometimes a little too quiet but I love her with all my heart.
I need you, Lauren.

"Come on Lisa. Let's go to church. We should ask God for help." Alex said and stood up. I nodded my head yes and let my brother help me up. Then we drove quietly through the neighborhood to our church. It was quiet and dark inside and somehow it felt empty. Normally we went every Sunday but since Lauren isn't with us anymore I sometimes lose my hope in God. Sometimes I was too tired to go to church. 

I kneeled down in one of the pews, folding my hands and asked God for help. When suddenly I remembered something.

Flashback

Lauren and I were the only ones home and we decided to watch a movie but I could tell that Lauren wasn't enjoying it. She was on her phone the whole time and her face was so tensed. I turned off the TV but my sister didn't even notice that.

"Hey, ist everything alright?" I asked, while looking at my little sister.

She looked up from her phone but needed a little time to realize what's going on.

"Sorry. What's wrong?" she asked and smiled. I chuckled a bit.

"That's what I asked you. You seemed to be really distracted. What happened?"

"Nothing", she said smiling but I gave her the look that said I knew exactly that something's up.

"Okay. I just have a fight with some friend and somehow they are really mad. I don't know how I can solve it" she said.

"Oh Lauren. I'm sorry. But they'll forgive you soon. I'm pretty sure."

"I don't know. It's so much lately that I don't know how to deal with it." Lauren nervously played with her fingers. She was so cute when she was nervous.

"What are you talking about?"

"Just band stuff and everything. I feel tired lately."

I came closer to her so that I could put my arm around her shoulder.

"I know. It must be exhausting for you. But we can't quit it."

"I don't want to quit it. I just wish I could deal with it better." She admitted and sighed.

"Maybe you should ask God for help. He will listen to you and he will give you the strength you need."

Lauren shrugged. Something really was bothering her.

"I don't know if I deserve his help" she suddenly said. I was shocked. Lauren still stared at her lap but I carefully took her chin and lift it up so she had to look in my eyes. Her beautiful big brown eyes were so empty.

"What do you mean? You know that it's not true. I really love you Lauren. You are so much worth. Especially the help of God. Do you understand?"

She shrugged again.

"I love you so much, Lauren."

"You are the best sister someone could ask for, Lisa" she said. Then we hugged and I didn't want to let her go but I thought she was just tired and had a bad day. Then we finished that movie and Lauren laughed at some funny parts so I thought she was okay.

But maybe she wasn't Maybe she was broken. But what does that mean? Did God sent me that flashback? Because I asked for help? Did he want me to know where Lauren is? Does it mean she is in heaven? No! She didn't kill herself! That can't be true! She wouldn't have left without a letter.

After Lauren went missing the police first thought Lauren would come home on her own. But then they thought about kidnapping. They said that the kidnapper will probably send a blackmailing letter soon. So we waited and I believed that after the letter we will just pay that money and then Lauren will be home again.

But after one month the police didn't give us much hope. They said kidnapper who didn't want money are much harder to find. They will have other plans with their victims. I didn't want to think about those plans. That would make me sick and this is why I left the room after they said that. 

Lauren, where are you? I miss you. I hope you are fine.

This is the first chapter! I hope you guys like it! Maybe you could write in the comments what you think about it! Thank you so incredibly much for reading! <3