I look up from his grave, eyes glazed over with tears. No. You're not going to cry. Not now. My mom and step dad look down at me, sorrow and pity clear in their chocolate brown and stormy grey eyes. "Abbi, we should go." I stand, only to fall back to my knees.
I know he's dead in my head, but my heart has finally seemed to register it. I'm overcome with a pain in my chest that can only be my heart tearing.
I try to stand again, just barely succeeding. Leaning heavily on my mom, we make our way back to our car.
I'm overwhelmed with most of the kids from my grade. A chorus of 'I'm sorry' s are interrupted by one of the jocks, Josh. Armed with a football - not surprising - he pulls me in for a bone-crushing hug. I hear an 'I'm sorry' from his deep baratone voice. He's the only one who could get to me before I'm tackled by my twin sister, Addison. She tends to over react a lot. She's bawling and I can barely muster a tear. He was my boyfriend. I should be sobbing, not her.
All too soon, I'm enveloped in a memory of him.
Nathanial, with his golden brown hair and hazel eyes was a face I'd come to adore. He held my hand as if when he would let go I'd disappear. His striking features were outlined in a golden light from the sunset, the last one he'd ever see.
"Abbi! Earth to Abbi!" I was staring blankly at the ground, still tethered to Addison. "Sorry. Daze." My mom appeared back beside me. I turned and there he was. Nathan. Not dead, but very much alive.
I screamed.
