I'd Rather Have You

Retweeting Bible Verses Is Fun

DISCLAIMER: I know fuck all about american geography, i'm Irish and I don't even know much about Irish geography lol

(Cas is in this chapter yay!)

***

"Where does this Castiel dude live then?" thought Ross. He didn't have to speak out loud because Dean was in his head. They communicated completely by thought. Ross was still like 67% sure that Dean was really just a voice in his head and he was going insane but hey, Dean was good fun. Not a bad alternate personality there, Ross.

"He lives in...America!" said Dean proudly.

"Dean, we're in America now. It's a pretty big place. Fifty states. Big 'ol continent".

Dean seemed a bit surprised. "Huh, I did not know that!".

Dean decided he'd have to switch on angel radio and ask for more information on Castiel Novak's actual location. They (Ross' body and Deans grace) were currently sitting at a bus stop in Lawrence Kansas. They weren't waiting for any buses, just sitting and planning things out. Ross had been worried that he didn't pack anything even after Dean kept reassuring him that his grace would keep his body well fed and clean and all that.

"He's in New York, Does that help at all?" thought Dean.

"Yeah kind of but not really?? Narrows it down a bit, I guess but we still need more".

Dean sighed "Jeez, even more detail? Can't we just go to New York and look around a bit until we see him? Wait, I don't actually know what he looks like. I'll ask for a bit more info".

"Come on man, pull yourself together" mumbled Ross.
Ross sighed and scrolled through twitter while he let Dean actually get some relevant information about his mission.
40 minutes and 10 bible verse retweets later Dean yelled "YEEHAW", Ross assumed this exclamation meant he knew where to find the virgin Castiel.

"Okay he's a tax accountant, his full name is Castiel James Novak, we can't get his full address and according to my sources he is hotter than the rapidly rising global temperatures. Does that mean anything to you?

Ross snorted so hard he almost choked. He assured Dean he was okay but that physical description wasn't too helpful.

"Ok so he's white with black hair and blue eyes and he's...Ripped af? Sorry I don't know what this shit means I'm gonna have to talk to Meg and get her to stop doing this she knows I'm not good at understanding english slang".

Ross didn't know how he was going to survive this journey if this Meg person kept providing their information on Castiel.

"Ross. Ross what does ripped af mean? Ross tell me. Tell me what it means. Will I be able to know it's him if he's ripped af? Does that mean he's hurt? do we have to get to him faster is ripped af bad? Ross?".

Ross tried not to laugh and failed.

"Now she's saying he's thicc. I'm so confused. He has powerful thighs ok I guess that's helpful is that helpful? And arms that she wants to be choked with...Alright thats it I'm reporting her."

Finally Dean managed to talk to Ellen instead of Meg and they were able to head off to New York. Dean talked non stop the whole time which usually Ross would hate but Dean was an angel so naturally he had some pretty interesting stories to tell.

"-And then Gabriel was like, congrats you're pregnant with the son of God! and Mary was like no way what the fuck?! and Gabriel was like lol bye girl have fun explaining that to your husband haha". Dean really enjoyed telling these stories and Ross didn't have the heart to tell him he'd read them all several times already he just laughed along which got him a bunch of judgmental looks from the people around him.

They arrived in New York and Dean decides it was time to test his wings and fly over the city to find Castiels house. As they were flying over the colourful lights of the city Ross wondered how prepared Dean actually was for this.

"So what are you gonna tell Castiel when we find him?" Ross asked.

"Ha, I guess I didn't think about that. It'll be fine though I'm an angel he can't just not believe me, I got wings and shit he'll believe me and maybe pray or cry and then he'll deal".

"You're awfully optimistic".

"Listen, don't worry man, you don't have to do anything just watch my brilliant cupid powers at work and just put your feet up until I bring you home or wherever you wanna go-OH I THINK HE'S DOWN THERE".

Ross hadn't had control of his body this whole time but as Dean literally dove down towards the roof of an apartment complex he felt especially helpless.

"You might wanna slow down there pal-fuck ok I'm gonna die".

***

Castiel awoke with a start to the sound of a deafening crash coming from his kitchen.

Fantastic.

He slipped on the soft too big hoodie that he picked up from the floor and grabbed the baseball bat from his closet before and wearing only a hoodie and a pair of boxers he went to check out who the fuck was trying to break in at 4am because he was gonna break their knees.

He almost turned around and went back to sleep when he saw a dazed looking man lying on his back covered in rubble and dust and blinking up at the gaping hole that was now in Castiels ceiling.
He held up the bat as threateningly as he could and approached the man.

"I'm about to start swinging"

The man turned his head to look at Castiel and broke into a grin "Castiel!".

Okay that's not what he'd expected at all.

Castiel's grip tightened on the bat but he had no idea what to even do or say right now.

"I recognised you from your powerful thighs!"

Castiel needed some coffee or alcohol. Both probably.

\\\

I have returned.

Please (please) tell me if you're actually enjoying this story like even of it's just 1 person or else im pretty sure I'm gonna delete the fuck out of it lol