"You're the only thing that keeps me going through the day Samantha."
I swing my bag over my shoulder as he does the same. "Stop saying that Matt, you're better off without me, you may not think so right now but you will someday. Just go home, please."
"No, you're wrong. You are the most perfect girl I've ever met, and if anything, you're the one who deserves better. I can't lose you Sam, please stop running away from me"
"I'm sorry Matthew I don't love you anymore."
His footsteps stop behind me and I'm too heartbroken to look back at him. All I do is cause him pain, he deserves better than me. I'm a mess.
Once I'm outside in the pouring rain, I run to the safety of my car. Opening the door, I throw my bag inside and begin to cry into the steering wheel.
"Why do I have to fucking mess everything up?" I scream through my tears. Nothing ever goes right for me.
Matt didn't understand, and that just made everything worse.
He deserves a girl who will take care of him and stay by his side when times get tough.
I can't do that for him. If situations get difficult, I run, just like my mother. When my brother Jarred commited suicide last fall, she ran. My father and I haven't seen her since.
I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex and take out a cigarette. The smoke escapes my lips as I close my eyes and lean my head back onto the seat.
This afternoon has been tragic. I love Matt, I really do, but I can't be with him anymore. I need to take a break with the whole "love" shit and just focus on me for a change.
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sam to the side -->
