I'm expected to read more.. learn more... get straight A's.. learn multiple languages to get a better job in the future.. I am supposed to be good at math and science for the career I want to do? I'm not even sure if I want to become a pharmacist. I'm pretty sure right now.. but I don't know about the future. I don't know if I will really enjoy being a pharmacist. I love science and it's one of the subjects I'm good at, but I don't know about math. I'm in honors for that class, but I don't really know if I can do much. I struggle with math problems I don't understand. I am also expected to go on websites and learn more so I'm "ahead" of everyone else. My mom tells me that I should study hard so she doesn't have to waste money for a tutor if I am struggling on a subject. I honestly think having a tutor is dumb because they know nothing of the subject I struggle in and it's a waste of money for a tutor in general when I can self teach myself. I really wish I can just do something I enjoy. I really feel confused if I should be trying to do all of this.. I'm wondering if being smarter than everyone else is something I will be proud of. I always try to learn as much as I can so my parents can be proud. I ask them.. are you proud of me? They say that they are, but why do I sense that it's not entirely true. I earn awards. I try to read as much so I can be the top reader. I was the third highest last year against my grade. Why do I try so hard? I'm confused..
