hurt // obikin au [on hold]

t e n

"i don't know," anakin starts.

padmé glares at him over the rim of her coffee cup. "you like him, ani. don't you?"

anakin shifts in his seat, uncomfortable. "i...i don't know. it's strange."

"strange how?" padmé makes her voice softer.

"i've just never...felt..." anakin swallows. "i like him," he whispers. "and i don't know what that makes me."

padmé puts her hand over anakin's. he grits his teeth, forcing himself not to pull away. he knows she's doing this affectionately, that she won't hurt him, but the sensation is unpleasant anyway.

"you don't have to pick a label," padmé says gently. "i haven't."

anakin's eyes go wide. "you...you're...?"

"you seriously didn't know?" she laughs.

anakin shakes his head. "i had no idea..." he pauses, licks his lips. "so...you don't care?"

padmé rolls her eyes. "anakin, i called it."

anakin manages a shy, embarrassed smile in response. he doesn't quite know what to say -- things between himself and padmé feel different, but not at all in a bad way. maybe he loves her even more somehow.

"so," she says.

"...so."

"do you like him?"

anakin's cheeks go an annoying, uncomfortable shade of red. he shifts in his seat. "i...i...i don't want to talk about him, padmé."

"ani, please? any other time i asked i wasn't sure you liked him...but now i know. at least tell me a little!"

"okay," anakin mumbles. "i...i don't know if i like him. i just know...he's very nice. he's nice, and he respects when i don't like being touched. he's gentle, which i hadn't expected. he makes me laugh so much, padmé. and he..." anakin trails off when he realized he's smiling.

"those are some very kind words, sweetheart. someone might think you even like me," obi-wan's voice says teasingly, and anakin goes adorably pink as obi-wan kisses the top of his head.

"go away," anakin whines, embarrassed. he doesn't object when obi-wan sits beside him, though, or when he kisses his temple. "what are you even doing here?"

"roommates were having super loud sex next door. i couldn't stand it," obi-wan says honestly. "i'll get out of your hair, though, i don't wanna interrupt you guys." he presses another kiss to anakin's hair and starts to get up, but padmé leans forward and grabs him by his shirtsleeve.

"wait," she says, so he sits back down. she watches them, the way anakin settles into the crook of his arm, the way obi-wan's hand gently rests on anakin's side. it says a lot, just the way they sit. "you like anakin, don't you?"

obi-wan stares at her. "yes. very much."

anakin's cheeks go even redder and he buries his face in his arms on the table.

"he's scared, you know," she adds.

"i know," obi-wan nods.

"you'll have to...be gentle with him."

anakin lifts his head, expression indignant. "he is sitting right here, and he can speak for himself!"

frustrated, he pushes away from the table and stalks off into the courtyard. he takes deep, heaving breaths, and tries to calm himself down.

once he can breathe without his hands shaking from anger, he tries to follow the anger back to the root. was it really that they were talking about him like he wasn't there, or was he angry because they were right?

"i know you're scared," obi-wan says, startling anakin. "padmé does, too. that's why she said what she said." he sits beside anakin in the grass, pulls a stray piece of grass out of anakin's hair. "she loves you, wants to be sure i won't hurt you. neither of us mean to embarrass you."

"i know." anakin's anger has left him, and now he's just quiet. "i just...i feel like i should have this figured out. my sexuality, my life, my..." he gestures loosely between himself and obi-wan. "whatever this is."

obi-wan holds the hand anakin was gesturing with. "what do you want this to be?"

he shrugs. "what do you want it to be?"

"you know where i stand on this," he reminds anakin gently, kisses the back of his hand.

anakin takes a deep breath. "okay," he says in shaky voice. "i...i am going to try and be brave. to tell you what i feel." he inhales again. "i like you. maybe i have since i first saw you. my feelings confused me and i interpreted them as dislike because i didn't think i could be gay. i thought being gay was...i don't know, not bad, just not good. and definitely not something i was. but now, here i am. here i am feeling safe with you, not minding you touching me. i don't even like padmé touching me. and i...and i -- i feel like i'm going insane, like my head will explode if i don't kiss you or talk to you or see you. i don't know. i feel like a mess, obi-wan, it scares me so bad."

when anakin finally manages to look at obi-wan's face, he's smirking.

"so you want to kiss me?" is all he says.

anakin throws his arms up in frustration. "is that all you heard!?"

obi-wan chuckles fondly, cups anakin's face in his hand. "no. sweetheart, i feel the same way. there's nothing wrong or shameful about it." he kisses anakin's forehead, and anakin closes his eyes. neither of them speak for a minute, until obi-wan whispers, "can i kiss you?"

anakin nods, but he doesn't realize he's done so until obi-wan's warm, soft lips meet his.