hurt // obikin au [on hold]

t h i r t e e n

obi-wan loves him.

it's all anakin's been able to think about for the past three days. he loves him. somebody loves him, really loves him. despite everything that's wrong with him.

and he loves obi-wan, too, of course. he loves him to the point of bursting, loves him like there's something inside of him pulling the two together. and it makes him laugh, because, what -- five months ago, he hated this guy's guts, and now he can't even sleep through the night unless they're sharing a bed.

anakin's cheeks go rosy just thinking about him, which is annoying, because he knows obi-wan would point it out if he were around. 

"hey, babe," a voice says, and anakin looks up and beams at obi-wan.

"hi," anakin responds with a smile. "it's so nice out today."

it is, too. the sun is warm, sky blue. the breeze is gentle and warm as well -- it's the kind of weather that makes everyone want to be outside, even professors.

obi-wan sits next to anakin in the grass, puts an arm around him. anakin curls into him, rests his chin on obi-wan's chest. obi-wan's eyes are shut, and anakin just stares at him. he's so beautiful, it aches in anakin's chest.

"i love you," he whispers. "i don't think anything has ever scared me as much as telling you so. but nothing else has ever made me so happy either."

obi-wan is beaming. "i know you do, sweetheart. and i love you, too, of course." he puts a hand to the side of anakin's face, runs a thumb over his cheek. 

"you knew?"

"i heard you the first time you told me," obi-wan responds. "but i knew anyway."

"how?"

"hmm..it's hard to explain. i'd have to think about it to be able to put it into words." anakin nods, shuts his eyes. he feels so safe here. "what's padmé doing right now?"

anakin checks his phone. "she's just gotten out of class, i think."

"are you done for the day?"

"yeah. why?"

obi-wan sits up, causing anakin to let out a displeased whine at having to move. "let's go to the beach."

anakin wrinkles his nose. "nooo."

"what? why not?"

"i hate sand."

obi-wan rolls his eyes. "oh, ani, come on."

"i do!"

obi-wan rolls his eyes again. "fine, i'll ask tyler to go with me."

anakin sits up. "who the hell is tyler?"

"apparently the guy who's going to the beach with me, since my adorable and equally grumpy boyfriend won't go."

"i'm not grumpy," says anakin grumpily. "who's tyler, you dickhead?"

obi-wan laughs, kisses anakin's cheek. "i was kidding, ani. i wouldn't take him instead of you. i'm not that mean."

"but who is he?"

obi-wan shakes his head. "a guy in my education class. i don't even why i said him, he was just the first guy to pop in my head."

anakin is pouting now, though if anyone said so he'd deny it. "...you're not in love with him, are you?" it's a dumb question, he knows that, but he knows he's so messed up, and it would be better for obi-wan if he loved someone else. someone normal, someone whose anxiety didn't express itself in such an angry way. someone who he wouldn't have to calm down all the time, someone he wouldn't have to deal with. these thoughts start to make anakin's heart race, his palms sweat.

"baby boy," obi-wan says suddenly, cupping anakin's face in his hands, forcing anakin to look at him. "sweetheart, i'm sorry. i shouldn't have joked like that, i wasn't thinking." his thumbs stroke anakin's cheeks, wiping away tears. when had he started to cry? "i'm not in love with him, anakin. i don't love anyone but you, yeah? i'd never want to. you have my heart."

anakin sniffles. he hates himself. "even though i'm messed up?"

"i don't think you are." obi-wan keeps stroking his cheeks even though the tears have stopped. "i'm sorry, anakin. i didn't mean to upset you."

"it's not your fault. i'm dumb and can't take a joke."

"don't say that," obi-wan says sharply. "you're not dumb. you're the incredibly smart, adorable person that has my heart, and i won't have you insulting yourself, okay?" he leans his forehead against anakin's after kissing his face a few times.

"okay," he whispers. "god, i love you."

obi-wan kisses him. he can't help it, his boyfriend is so goddamn cute. "i love you more. now, what do you want to do today?"

"we can go to the beach," he says, and the giant grin on obi-wan's face makes it worth it.

not much later they're on their way, padmé in the front seat of the car as obi-wan drives. anakin lays in the backseat, stretched out over all three seats, loving the way the sun hits his face through the window.

"you okay, ani?" padmé asks. he seems too quiet.

it's not a sad quiet. "i'm good," he smiles back at her. he reaches for her hand. "i love you, amidala."

she laughs. "i love you, too, skywalker, you big nerd."

that makes anakin laugh, too. he loves padmé, the way she makes insults sound like declarations of love. he loves obi-wan, too, more every second. he watches him, silently, the way he sings along to the radio and drums on the steering wheel. the way he glances into the rearview mirror every few minutes to look at anakin with love in his eyes. anakin isn't sure he could ever love anyone else this much. he never wants to.

they're only about an hour from the beach, and padmé hops out of the car and immediately runs to the ocean. she was made for this, a girl of the sand and sea, and anakin watches after her, apprehensive. 

"we don't have to stay long," obi-wan assures him, taking his hand.

"i'm okay," he assures obi-wan. hand-in-hand, they walk down to the water. the sensation of the sand has anakin's face scrunched up in displeasure, but the water is nice, he has to admit that. it's fun to float in the water, suspended. he feels free there, like nothing can hurt him. he clings tight to obi-wan's hand so he doesn't float away. every once in a while he catches a glimpse of padmé, always laughing, hair dark and wet. 

anakin doesn't mind the sand as much when he's tired, though it's still unpleasant. he doesn't have the energy to move once he's laid down in it, though, so he just lays there with his displeased expression.

obi-wan laughs. "you hate sand, huh?"

anakin nods. "i can't move, though. too tired." he shuts his eyes.

"i've got you," obi-wan assures him. he scoops his exhausted boyfriend up in his arms. this is a good kind of tired, he can see that on anakin's face, and smiles. it's nothing like the anxiety-induced exhaustion. padmé tiredly leans her head against obi-wan's shoulder, and he supports some of her weight, too.

"that was fun," anakin whispers to obi-wan when they get back to campus. padmé is so tired that she can't even make it back to her dorm room, and dozes off in anakin's bed. it's the perfect excuse for anakin to sleep in obi-wan's bed, though he probably would've done so anyway. 

obi-wan kisses him goodnight, and anakin can still taste the salt of the sea on his lips. "goodnight, angel."

"love you," anakin mumbles tiredly, inches from unconsciousness but still needing obi-wan to know.

"i love you more."

a/n: do you guys want more angst or fluff in this fic?? i really love writing fluff but can have angst if y'all want it