Getaway

Everything Stopped

I can't handle myself anymore. All the lies being told by Justin, the nagging of my dad, the stress of school. Its all becoming too much. I don't wanna go back to my old ways. Old ways being; self harming, not eating, constantly working out, crying every night. That has been in my past for a while now. But last night was hell. I can't take this anymore.

I went into my bathroom and opened the cabinet underneath my sink. Grabbed a bag. Unzipped it. There they were. All my blades. Millions of thoughts ran through my head and tears streamed down my face blurring my vision. I became short of breath and grabbed a blade. I held it over my wrists when suddenly the door burst open. In came Camryn.

"What are you doing Courtney? Put that down right now." she screamed at me and ripped the blade out of my hand. I looked her in the eyes.

"Cam, why can't I be good enough?" I asked her through short gasps of breaths.

"You are good enough. You're more than good enough. Now tell me what's going on with you?" she asked concerned.

"Justin was smoking last night. He said he stopped that kind of stuff. And that's not the reason I'm crying and stressed. I'm doing this because clearly I'm not doing my job as a girlfriend. I'm not doing enough for him or he wouldn't be doing this. My dad wouldn't hate me if I wasn't with Justin. I would be getting scholarships if I focused more on school." I told her as I rested my head in my hands and cried.

"Courtney. You don't need Justin. He has brought you nothing but pain in the past few months. He's brought you to the edge and almost pushed you over. You need to let him go. And let everything about him and you go." Cam told me.

"It's not the easy." i spoke up.

"I know it's gonna be hard, but I'll he here with you." Cam said.

I continued to cry because I knew everything she said was true. But it's going to be hell. And I don't wanna go through that right now. After I talked with her for a good hour, I convinced her that I had things to do. She left and I crawled back into bed. I curled up in a ball and didn't dare check my phone to see what Justin had texted me. Just as I was drifting off to sleep I heard something. Sounded like a knocking. It was only around 4 pm so I knew it wouldn't be my dad. I sat up in my bed and configured it was coming from my window. I got out of bed and walked over to my window. I looked down and saw Justin. He was throwing rocks at my window. I can't do this. I can't go crawling back to him like I've done so many times before. I won't. Not this time. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and quickly wiped it away before Justin saw me. I went back to my bed and grabbed my phone. First mistake. Justin was calling me. I answered. Second mistake.

"Babe. Please don't hang up. Just listen. I know what you saw last night and I'm not denying it. But you have to understand something. I've been going through so much lately and I need an escape-" justin spoke before I interrupted him.

"Don't start with me, I need an escape to and I don't run to drugs. I run to-" I started.

"Blades." justin darted back at me.

"How could you even say that. I can't deal with your shit anymore. We've been through hell and back and were back where we started. I'm done with you. With us." I hung up the phone and threw it across my room. I buried my face in my pillow and screamed. Tears were burning my eyes and I couldn't bring myself to stop them. I cried for hours, until my dad called me down for dinner. I couldn't let him see me like this. I took a quick shower and threw on some sweats. I grabbed a sweatshirt before quickly realizing that it was Justin's. I threw it down and put on a jacket. Everything around me is reminding me of what we have. Had. I just need to stop. Need to getaway.

Sorry i haven't been updating but school has been overwhelming me. I'll try to update once a week. More votes mean a sooner update. Thanks for reading. Follow and tweet me what you think on twitter @strxtfordqueenn. I love all of you <3