This Thing That Breaks My Heart

Chapter 1

Carter’s heart dropped. “You’re joking.”

Aly moved to the side of the bed and stared at her hands. “I’m going back to France,” she repeated.

Carter felt vaguely sick, like he was going to throw up or pass out or something. A wave of heat rolled up his body. He broke into a cold sweat and his face flushed. This was supposed to be their time. Aly had promised him that she was going to stay in the states. The long distance had taken a toll on both of them. Even when they were together, their hearts ached, anticipating their last minutes together and the inevitable separation. They argued a lot more than they used to, petty bickering that rose to raging fights.

He stood and walked to the window, drumming his fingers on the sill. “How long?”

“Two years.”

Carter laughed bitterly. “Two years. Are you fucking kidding...” He managed to stop himself from finishing that sentence. Don’t start a fight.

Aly remained quiet.

“Okay. Well. We did it before, it’ll be fine,” Carter said, trying to force his voice to be cheerful.

Silence.

An uneasy sensation overtook him. He turned to find Aly staring at her hands, fidgeting and picking. It looked like she was trying her best not to cry.

“Aly,” he said warily. “What else?”

Aly refused to meet his eye. The two froze there for what seemed like eternity.

“I think we need space. I need space,” Aly finally mumbled.

Carter felt like Aly had just punched him in the gut.

“It’s not fair to you. I know it’s been killing you and you deserve someone that’s there. Not someone part time, thousands of miles away.” Words poured from her mouth, trying to rationalize everything.

Carter was barely listening, still trying to comprehend the fact that it sounded like Aly was breaking up with him. He struggled to control his breathing. Don’t explode. Don’t explode.

“I love you Carter, you’re my best friend. But our timing is off. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“...”

“Please say something.”

Tears started to fall from Aly’s eyes. She tried to choke them back, but it was too much. Aly needed him to say something but at the same time, she was terrified of what he would say. She didn’t know how they could ever be just friends, but this was just too hard. She was tired of the fighting, tired of the distance. She needed to focus on her career, and France was absolutely the best place for that. But she couldn’t have both – she couldn’t do it anymore.

Carter finally found his voice. “I...I have nothing to say. It seems you’ve made the decision for the both of us.” He headed towards the door.