This Thing That Breaks My Heart

Chapter 9

Carter left Tim and Danny’s room over an hour later, properly shamed, and ego slightly bruised. They have the good cop, bad cop routine down pat, he thought glumly.

Carter opened the door to his room to find Brad and John talking. They glanced at each other as he made his way in.

John quickly stood. “Man, it’s late. I’ll see ya guys later, night.” He rushed out, not making eye contact.

Carter waited until he left, then turned to Brad with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t tell him! He knows something is up. I mean you sucking it up on the field, you and Aly not talking. And then your hand. They’re not stupid.”

Carter flopped on his bed and buried his face into a pillow.

“Great. No wonder she left me.”

“What?”

“I mean, it makes sense why she broke it off. Why she didn’t want me.”

“Carter. C’mon.”

“You wanted me to talk? I’m talking.” Carter rolled on his side. “I was an embarrassment.”

“Don’t say that, that’s not true.”

Carter smiled bleakly. “It’s true. I’m not good enough, I’ve never been good enough. She deserves someone better. She wasted so much time on me. She could’ve done better.”

His eyes stung. He got up abruptly. “I’m taking a shower.”

As soon as the shower turned on, Brad headed to Bridget’s room to share what Carter had revealed.

“He'll kill me if he finds out I told you. But I think you guys need to know. It’s going to be rough, you know, when you guys get back home.”

Bridget palmed the back of her neck. “Yeah, we’ll be discrete. Thanks.”

After Brad left, Bridget closed the door and leaned heavily against it with a sigh. She looked up to see Bobby walking out of the bathroom. He went straight to her and ran his hands up Bridget’s back, and kissed her head.

“We should have known. The drinking, the girls, the disappearing. I should’ve pushed more. Got him to talk.”

Bobby squeezed her tight.

“I’m scared,” Bridget admitted.

“Me too. But he’ll be okay. We’ll help him. It’s Carter, he’s so strong. He’ll be okay.”

They stood there in their embrace, listening to the silence, and trying desperately to believe in Bobby’s promise.

* * * * * *

Carter sat in the goal, leaning against the post.

“They have lawn mowers for that, ya know.”

Carter jumped at the sound of Erica’s voice, glancing at the ground where he had been absentmindedly tearing up the grass.

Erica slid next to him. They sat in silence for a while.

“I guess I never processed it. I tried to ignore it. I didn’t want to bother you guys,” Carter said in a rush.

Erica stayed silent. It was making him panic.

“I tried, I thought I could do it. I didn’t want you guys to realize how much of a loser...”

Erica covered his mouth with her hand. “No. Don’t even think of finishing that.”

Carter burst into tears.