Falling For Satan

When I decide to be hopeful I become a hopefool

I've been spending as much time as I could with my family and my beautiful niece. God she was so perfect it has been 3 months since I've seen Luci. I miss him so much. It is such a strange thing to be without my soul. Its like my good and bad side have been mushed together I don't what's what anymore. If i want to do something I do it and not think about the consequences. But I don't feel out of control. The loneliness is still there it always is and I think it always will be. I still cry myself to sleep even if I'm holding my niece in my arms. Then one morning I got a call saying MY NIECE IS DEAD. I knew it I knew it wouldn't last. I was such a fool to hope it would. 1 week without her, and we're planing the funeral. I hate MYSELF SO MUCH. I HATE DOING THIS. Lucifers' number has been disabled so I've now lost both of them forever. All I could think was This is not how it should be. This is fake. I'm dreaming.This is just a bad dream. A really bad dream. Come on CHELS WAKE UP!! WAKE UP FOR LUCIFERSAKE WAKE THE HECK UP. But the sad reality was this was not a dream and it never was she was gone and there was nothing i could do.