I disagree with the fact that people are waiting for me on the other side of the holy gates. it's not over for me; just yet. i have people who love me, i have to keep that in mind. i'm recording new music and hopefully this time is better, hopefully people see the time and effort i spend daily, hopefully it'll sound good enough that people would want to see it live. that'd be so fucking cool; here i am. stuck in this place while I watch my home fall apart; no one feels safe here.
we shouldn't be here.
you've got your hand in mine and the sun is glaring into my blue eyes and i'm finally sure that i want to spend my life with you. i'm sure.
mom and dad taught me something; not directly but on the outside, they taught me to love when they couldn't. My dad gave up on my mom and i think that's why i have negative space with him; especially since he misses her. how could you truly love someone and just let them go, live another life that isn't as well as it once was. now I remember the way that I fuck up. I've already let you go; But not this time; you may think in your head "that's what you said last time" But i'm sure. I'm positive that i would like to grow old with you; to raise our own family. that'd be my dream.
matt called from cloud nine last night and told me a miracle in my dream and i believe him because i always have, i can't explain what or how the conversation went but it was vivid; and when i woke up i missed him, But I promised him i would make it; i'm sure.
