i thought a lot today, on why i am even alive if i can't make anyone truly happy. I want to make someone proud instead of hurting them. i am left here, stuck . lost in the same goddamn motions that i was in in my lowest moment. i'm next to die, i can feel it. out of all my friends it is my turn. this is my goodbye as a writer and everything i once was. i used to be brave. not anymore.
so i'm going to unlock the door and let my fears in. fight them off one by one. before i'm lost in the great unknown like a normal lifeless human living a daily routine they are stuck to. not me. Fuck that shit. I have to see the light in all of this. for you, and for myself.
