Smooth Sailing ✓ [Republishing]

22 | pretzels and sugar

The heart was made to be broken.

-Oscar Wilde-
________________________

- L I L A -

"Happy birthday!" Yasmine exclaimed, plopping down onto the passenger seat and swiftly bringing me into a hug. "The big 18th!"

I smiled stiffly and slowly pulled away, blinking back the tears I had allowed to fall only moments ago. "Yeah," I muttered, "Happy birthday to me."

Noticing my state, Yasmine frowned, shutting the car door. It didn't take much to know I had been crying - that's all I had been doing since Matthew broke up with me - and that I was distraught.

"Matthew's coming to school today, are you sure you're okay?" Yasmine questioned, placing a hand on my shoulder as I slowly ate my bagel.

"No," I admitted, my eyes glued to the screensaver of the pair of us. "The guy I love doesn't want to be with me, and won't even bother to try to believe that I'm telling the truth."

Yasmine was silent for a moment before she sighed. "I'm going to be honest with you," she announced, leaning her head back and taking her seatbelt off. "For the first couple of months, it'll be hard seeing him around, but eventually you'll be able to move on."

"I don't want to move on, Yas," I responded, wiping any crumbs from my lips. "I want us to be together again. He told me he loved me, and then he broke up with me. Does he expect me to be okay?"

"No one can expect anyone to be okay after a breakup. But you have to pretend like you are, only then will it be easier to forget."

It had been a week since Matthew broke up with me, and the crushing feeling I felt at the hospital hadn't gone away. If anything, it was stronger since I knew I wouldn't be able to be in Matthew's presence.

As expected, Gloria had been ecstatic that Matthew had broken up with me. I didn't notice then, but both she and Mina were at the hospital that day and found out we were over.

I, however, couldn't bring myself to delete his pictures, and like the hopeless romantic I was, I reread our text messages over and over again.

'I can't wait to hold you in my arms.'

That was the message right before New Year's, and the one I had difficulty staying away from. That was all I wanted. For Matthew to hold me in his arms, kiss my forehead like he always did and quietly murmur sweet nothings into my ear.

I appreciated all the little things a whole lot more since they were gone.

Getting out of my car, I wandered slowly to homeroom with Yasmine beside me. At that moment, I was eternally grateful that Matthew and I didn't share the same homeroom.

But, English was a whole other story.

"Um, you're in my seat." I cleared my throat, staring icily at Gloria. I wanted to badly lunge for her, but we had already got into trouble for the dispute we had in the hallway.

"This is my seat now," She answered instantly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, and turning her back to me. "You can find a new seat."